I went to the store with my mother and one comment–negative of course–from her made my mood plummet. I wish I was stronger than this…I wish I had the power to make myself happy.
I find myself thinking about living without them under the same roof and I feel happy but sad in other areas like missing my babies. Gracie and Roscoe–dogs–make me so happy and put a damm smile on my face. My parents rarely do that ever since this whole drinking thing.
I wish I had more confidence in myself…wish I had some guts, wish I had some courage but alas, I'm am lacking in those areas. I don't lack in love–God knows I love my babies to pieces and I feel obligated to love my parents despite their…problems I guess. I find myself constantly looking for signs from a higher power…I know some of you the read this don't believe and that's fine. I still would appreciate your feedback.
When I mentioned having an online blog to my mother, she didn't think it was a good idea: too many people could find out and ruin you (that's the feeling I got from their comments). Well if I didn't write, I'd find other, unhealthy ways to deal. Would they rather I took it out like that??
I just can't wait until I can go back to my grandma's. I feel so…happy there and I don't have to worry about anyone drinking too much. I just feel like I have no one to talk to about all of this…I have my therapist but I like her too much to dump all of it on her but I do anyway because my parents pay for me to see her. I feel like she's another mom to me…I want to cry when I type that. I wish I had a place to be alone, with my laptop but no such luck.
And of course I'm listening to music as family watches a movie. And she(my mother) wonders why I isolate? Gee maybe because all you guys to is drink or watch tv.
It's thundering…my poor baby Gracie is scared. Better submit this while I can.
-
Frustrated
veeb, , Depression, Religion, 0
Jesus fucking Christ!! I am fucking tired…I am so fucking tired of the fucking cyclical emotions. I really don't...
-
What am I so afraid of?
BeOptimistic, , Depression, Anxiety, 0
I need to constantly remind myself to take one day, one step, one breath, at a time. Deep down...
-
Rhymin and bs'n
justin14, , Depression, Anger, Depression, Grief, OCD, Stress, 0
Sorry if I offend, or if I come off as stupid again. I have serious mental health issues. I've...
-
Punishment.
case, , Depression, Anger, Questions, 0
Tonight I logged on and had a message in my inbox from a Tribe member, it wrote something along...
-
Cant help feeling guilty
NeedMoreCoffee, , Depression, Parenting, Relationships, Therapist, 1
Last year I met a woman and her 7 months son through online parenting group. She was a psychologist...
-
Better
bthere4mi, , Depression, Child, Weight Loss, 0
I'm doing better…Yesterday I just kind of freaked out I guess…I don't really know what it was about…Thanks for...
-
Well then
Kupkake, , Depression, Child, Infidelity, Obesity, Parenting, PTSD, Questions, Relationships, Religion, Sex Therapy, Stress, Weight Loss, 0
Everyday I try to be a better person. I’m not so much wanting to build up karma points for...
-
Dream
LadyPeach1983, , Depression, Anxiety, Relationships, 2
I believe that dreams hides your most deepiest desires, biggest fears, happy and saddiest moments. It sometimes plays out...