Jesus fucking Christ!! I am fucking tired…I am so fucking tired of the fucking cyclical emotions. I really don't know that I can handle these ups and downs. I read back on my last blog and the sense of acceptance was a fucking shocker because today, today I feel like a wad of shit. I am certifiable people. I am fucked up a creek with no paddle. Really I do a good game of talking myself up and at times I am so fucking good I could sell snow to inuits, I participate in self-brainwashing that is literally making me go insane. I constantly tell myself everything will be ok, take it one day at a time, its not the end of the world, but really it just might be. I can't handle these cycles, days where I feel like I could conquer the world devolve into days where I feel that I am worth less than the gum on the bottom of a shoe. Really is this life? Is this my life? Is it worth it? Am I deluding myself thinking that things will get better when I am stuck in this daily rollercoaster ride of emotions? I honestly don't have a fucking clue. I am just emotionally exhausted. I feel completely alone. I absolutely have no faith in people and don't trust them as far as I can throw them, I feel completely isolated and alone. I sincerely want to believe all the shit I say, that things will get better but I am reaching my limits once more and I don't trust my actions in this condition. It was only two days ago that I thought I reached a place of acceptance but now I feel like I was just lying to myself. And if I can't trust other people, or trust myself, what is it that I am doing here exactly? Maybe I just need to let myself self-destruct and let it all be over with. I mean really, less than 48hours ago I was saying that I am a fighter and I wouldn't let life defeat me, and today I feel defeated. I am so fucking frustrated.
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Last night
TessErin, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, 0
Once again I feel drained, stupid and…oh hell, I can't think of the word. Last night…the dam broke I...
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Fuckin idiot.
imogen, , Depression, Anger, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Stress, 0
im such an idiot. saterday i got too drunk & i smoked weed; which i havent done since januray...
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Really unsure
redjayson, , Depression, Child, Divorce, Suicide, 0
well i have been having a really bad couple of days i miss my son as i always do...
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my grandmother and more gay cousins.
namenotimportant, , Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, Teens, Anger, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Eating Disorder, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Questions, Relationships, Religion, Self Esteem, Suicide, Therapy, 1
A few months ago, I posted a blog about my father being more homophobic than I thought and...
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Sitting in the Middle
RemBlossom, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
So it has been a while since I wrote here. I have been both occupied and not busy. I...
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So tired of caring
MJDoe, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Child, Depression, Relationships, Social Anxiety, 1
I don't think any of us will ever be able to escape those over opinionated, self centered, self righteous,...
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Trouble with Snoring
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anger, Sleep Disorders, 1
I've spent the day wandering around the house in pointless circles, my mind swirling as well. Both Aaron and...
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Journal 1
EyeMInsane, , Depression, Depression, Parenting, Weight Loss, 0
So, as part of my support group I am supposed to keep a *mood journal*. You know, each day...