So I had a car accident a couple days ago.

I wanted to change lanes and the cars were far back so I indicate and start turning the wheel.
It happened so fast, in one second everything changed.
I heard a beep and look at the mirror, the headlights glaring so bright. The car came so fast, too fast they said, I think he was trying to overtake, I turn the wheel to stay on my lane.
I thought it was okay but then came the bump.
My car shook, I go forward and brake and look in the mirror and see the car flip in the air and land upside down.
I can’t describe how I felt. My legs went numb. I tried opening my door but it was jammed, my hand was shaking and I sat there staring at my shaking hand. My sister got out of the car and called my dad. I climbed over her seat and got out. I was all over the place.

A crowd of people came, noone could speak English, I wasn’t in London. I was panicking running around asking if anyone was still in the car but noone understood me. I fell to the floor and prayed. Cried. Then a man in a blue suit came and he spoke English and I explained what happened and told him I don’t know if anyone’s still in the car and he spoke to the people and found out the driver already got out of the car and he was fine, not even a scratch. I was in disbelief, I thought I killed a person, how could he survive that. I was having a meltdown crying to the blue suit man asking how did he get out, where is he, so he took me to see with my own eyes that the driver was fine. He said you’re fine, the man is fine, that’s the most important part, the car is not fine, the car is gone, doesn’t matter, the car is nothing, don’t cry. But I couldn’t help it I was so scared. And only then did my senses come back… My little sisters were with me, I went to check on them and they were fine.

I spoke to my dad on the phone and just cried where are you, come quick please. I heard the ambulance sirens and the police came. They were getting stuff out of his car. I remember seeing them pull out a seat and I just thought what if that was a car seat. The driver was a big guy he somehow got out, but what if there was a baby or a child how would they survive that. A million what ifs rushed around my mind.

My dad came and I ran to him and hugged him and cried. He said it’s okay, the man is okay, it happens, he tried to calm me okay. My dad dealt with everything, the police, the other driver.
They asked if I was okay or if I needed to see the paramedic. My head was hurting, there was a sharp pain and it felt so heavy, but I couldn’t bring myself to say I’m hurt. I felt so guilty. I said I was fine.

There were no other problems. Insurance covered everything. I waited in dad’s car, I just sat there staring at my hands. And the whole way home I shut my eyes, I couldn’t look at the road.

Its only been 2 days but every second drags. It constantly replays in my head. Yesterday we went out and I was in dad’s car, there were cars driving so fast and one beeped… When I heard the beep my chest suddenly felt so tight and I felt so hot, my breaths felt uncomfortable but I just kept taking deep breaths.

Now everyone is okay, everyone is going about with their daily activities. But this fear, this guilt, whatever it is, is still with me. I know it’ll take time, and eventually it’ll be okay, but right now I’m not okay. I feel like my heads gonna explode, I keep picturing all these scenarios, all these thoughts forcing themselves into my mind. I cant believe it happened, I can’t believe it happened to me.

I’m having trouble sleeping. I cry and let the thoughts take over and cry some more. This feeling of fear and uneasiness and uncomfort is taking over my whole body, inside and out.

I don’t know what to do with all these emotions and thoughts.

3 Comments
  1. real910 10 months ago

    Having been in a few horrible car accidents myself, there was one that this reminds me of. I was 13 going with my grandmother to get pizza and we were just going home when someone ran a red light and hit us straight on. Sis I PANICKED like my heart was trying to fight it’s way out of my body, paramedics came and even though I was scared and said I was fine (which physically I was) I was basically forced onto a gurney and into the back of an ambulance racing to the hospital with my grandmother. Everything ended up fine, but that feeling in my chest would happen every single time I was in a car that stopped quick or even if someone beeped near our car, even outside of vehicular incidents that fear wouldn’t go away. It didn’t go away for almost a year, why? Because not only did I not talk about how I felt, but I also didnt think it was worth talking about. Eventually I did talk about it, and it didn’t stop right then but I kept talking to my parents whenever it would plague m, and eventually the feeling stopped. I really should have done this in the beginning. Talk it out to someone you trust as much as you want even if you feel like the other person might get tired of hearing it, accidents DO happen and its really not your fault, sometimes we just can’t help the way we feel right?

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    • Author
      teee 10 months ago

      @real910
      When I read this I cried, the fear and the guilt are so much to handle and hold alone. I felt like I can’t talk about it or shouldn’t talk about it, thankyou for sharing your experience.
      Knowing that someone who understands what I experienced and what I’m going through right now is doing better is comforting… I’m glad you’re okay and will be sure to talk to someone I trust.

      Thankyou.

      Tee

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  2. kellzbaby80 10 months ago

    Car/Driving Anxiety is bad. I’ve been T-Boned and rear ended a few times not to mention me car being hit while parked. The older I get , the more I hate to drive. I get really nervous and agitated, especially when my children are in the car with me. That’s why it’s good to Pray even before you pull off and even when driving (throwing a few profanities in). Be Strong, can’t rely upon others to get you place to place.

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