shit like this happens all the time. i find someone i actually like and well i thought he liked me but then somethings screws everything up and im in tears again. maybe i deserve it. maybe its all my fault all this happens.everyone says i shouldnt let it get to me and i should forget it. but how? tell me how to do that. when someone you care about the most just turns around and hurts you like its nothing, over and over again, and you keep going back cuz they say they change. of course i wanna bealieve that i look for the best in people and get dissapointed when im let down? what if i grow up and nothing changes. im still like this. no one to love. all alone in this fucked up place. i dont think i can do that. what if i cant change? i honetly dont know what to say to explain how im feeling, and its killing me. i want to open up and share but i dont know how? i cant find the words to say. how can i be like this over something so small? when others have it so much worst?? i guess thats why i cant share cuz when i say it out loud nobody will understand. my problems may not be big or important to you, and maybe you can just brush stuff like this off, but i cant. its imporant to me and it breaks me. slowly. painfully. i dont know how i feel. so how can i try to explain it to you?? maybe i dont deserve this. someone else could be living in my place and be so much happier. im not happy. i hardly ever am anymore. and i dont know what to do. or how to stop. i hate it when im like this. i hate myself for all my stupid insecurities. i hate myself for letting all the small thing get to me. i hate myself for hating myself. i cant do this anymore. i cant be like this. i just cant do it.