It's been so long since I've been on AT. I have been having a really hard time lately…I've been thinking of trying to find a new therapist after mine moved. I've been without anyone for probably a little over a year now, I can't even remember. In a sense I feel lost…I feel like I needed to return home. As dysfunctional as this place is or was at the time that I removed myself its still home. Families are dysfunctional though right? I'm sure no one here even remembers me, it seems like there are a lot of newbies which is great and I'm so glad that others have joined the tribe and are getting the support they are needing.
I hadn't had a panic attack in a very long time but 2 days ago I had one, it could have been worse but I was able to talk myself back from it. It got to the point I was in beginning stages of hyperventalation and was starting to not be able to feel my hands. I'm proud of myself for being able to pull it back from going into full blown mode but at the same time I had been able to keep it in check for quite some time until recently. Since then I feel pretty shaken up. But a lot of that is due to the reasons behind my attack. I just don't know how much more I can take. I'm severely stressed between school, life in general, and now a health issue. I am lucky that I've got support from my family however there are things no amount of support can help me with. I have a lot of health anxiety in general and now there is actually something wrong so my pure O is really kicking into overdrive and having a fucking field day.
I suppose this vent is over…I don't know what else to say. I just needed to say something. Whoever took the time to look at this, thanks.