Today has been one of those I just don't know where to turn next kind of days.  Trying to take care of 15 household projects, help take care of the babysitting kids, plus help my gf when she needs me.  I just feel like a hamster on a wheel…not going anywhere…but sure doin a lot of spinning.  I mean I know I need to step up and take charge, but I need help too.  My gf helps me as much as she can, but yet I still allow myself to try to take on too much and end up getting overwhelmed and very confused.  I guess i feel the confusion because I don't know how much to try to take on myself.  I try to do it all…but then i end up really stressin out till I reach my breaking point.  There's part of me that keeps thinking I"m so down on myself and life in general because there's so much chaos and confusion most of the time in my home and my life.   But yet when I try to take charge and do the things I know need to be done to try to eliminate some of the chaos and confusion, I end up getting down on myself because I can't do it all.  I mean I know I'm a perfectionist and most of the time my own worst enemy, but is this vicious cycle normal??  Or what 's wrong with me, that the chaos works on my nerves, but yet trying to fix it works on my nerves just as much.  I try and I try, and yet I just feel like I can't and/or don't meet up to ANYBODYS expectations, especially not my own.  Is this all a part of just the damn depression, or am I just being my own worst enemy as usual???


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