hi, i am only getting used to this website so i am not even sure where i am supposed to be posting this. I am hoping someone will see it and can offer advice. I have had OCD since i was about 9 yrs, i know for certain i developed it as a safety issue, ie. i done things to feel safer, especially at night time. I had a bad year back then as a child and it has stuck with me since. however, that is all in the past, and yet i'm still her with my OCD probably about a million times worse. It is getting worse by the week i think. I find myself cursing at myself even for doing these things yet i cant help it. So this is what my nitetime routine consists of just before i go to bed:
I go put the alarm on.
Go to back door and check it 4 times that it locked.
Go to each room, turn on and off light twice, look behind door 4 times.
Check my 2 children are breathing ( as in two breaths each).
Close all doors to a certain level but all different than each other.
Loads of other little things like checking phone, light having to be certain way etc.
During the day there are not as much, mainly everything being even numbers, volume on tele radio have to be even numbers, doing things an even amount of times, repeating myself an even amount of times.
Would love anyones views on this, i know it mite be so simple just to say stop doing all the above but i really cant, i keep adding to the list, it takes me a good half hour to actually get into bed at nite by doing all these things.
thanks for reading this,
em
Hi my ocd mostly mental,but i let my problems go for a long time and recently medication and tharapy have helped me alot.I dont know what your doing right now as far as getting help,but i can tell you it can get better.This site also helps alot,it helps alot to talk to people with the same problems.
axman1977, thanks for the comment. I am actually not getting any help for this at the moment. I went to my local doctor about 5months ago, i dont think she really believed me and she kind of put it down to post natal depression even tho my child was 3. Now i did have PND when my youngest was born and was put on Norzac, this is what doc recommended i use again, i had the prescription but have to say never got it. Just didnt want to be reliant on anti depressants again. I know i'm not depressed, i also do the rereading and rechecking like yourself. Its not at the stage where it is disrupting my life (well during the day), but getting there at night, the main reason i posted a blog, was cos the night before my boyfriend had questioned what i had done before went to bed. Made me realise i have to do so many things that even he noticed!! Hope all is well with you.
Meerkat, thanks for the welcome, still trying to navigate around, but am used to other socail pages like bebo etc so should get used to it soon enough 😀
Emmalou – welcome to the site. I think you will find this a very helpful site and over time you will be given some great advice re therapy, medication, books etc. I am a checker myself but at the end of the day OCD is an anxiety disorder which takes many forms in different people. You will learn on this site how people deal with their OCD anxiety. Again, welcome! Robby
Thank you for your blog. It makes me feel not so alone in all of this. My rituals are stronger in the morning. It takes me 3 hours from the time I wake up until I get all the crap my brain tells me to do before I can leave. In my mind, if I don't touch all the proper things the proper amount of times, my family will be hurt in some way. The rational side of my mind tells me that it makes no sense at all. But, the other side always kicks in and I have to do the rituals. It will wear you out and I am so sick of it! I don't really care why it happens, I just want it to stop!