So angry.

Basically me and my mum have a very complex relationship, i spent so much of my life hating her and inturn hating myself aswell. Things started to change for the better when she found out i was in hospital after a suicide attempt, i guess she just felt guilty..but she did try i'll give her that. But last night just ruined it all.

my family (minus my dad) went out for a meal last night to reunite with people we met on holiday last month. It started off innocently enough but after half a glass of wine my mum was drunk and was outragously flirting with the single dad who was hosting the evening. He kept buying drinks, she got worse n worse, giggling like a silly school girl at everything he said, leaning on him when she laughed, when we came to sorting the bill she was referring to the guy and her self as 'mum & dad' i was getting SO wound up. She's always moaning to people about how 'boring' my dad is coz all he does it work – HE'S BRINGING MONEY HOME FOR YOU!!!! stupid cow! I had to walk out at one point, when she started talking about staying for a sleepover at this guys house! She was saying my sister could pull a sickie from school (she's in year 11!!! if i wanted to do ANYTHING like that when i was in year 11 i'd get a slap!!) She kept saying 'i want to stay out, i don't have a life' then she started crying….ugh!!!

All my emotions came flooding back from when i was younger, and walked in on my mum in bed with another guy, she's never spoken about it. My dad doesn't know. I told my brother and he went in to 'get a tissue' and witnessed it aswell. he was probably too young to remember it now, and i wish i could talk to him about it. i don't get on with my dad but i do respect him for working hard and bringing money home and a roof over my head for 21 years. My mum doesn't deserve him.

So the past 15 months of my mum trying to reform any kind of relationship with me has gone back down to zilch. Bye mum!

2 Comments
  1. ancientgeekcrone 7 years ago

    My mother and I had a very strained relationship also. We did more or less mend fenses before she died.  It is very interesting, I never felt close to her. I still don't. It is also true that I do not have many women friends to this day. My Dad was my most nourishing parent. I felt very close to him during various stages of my life; but felt displaced by my sister. Even so, I seem to have more friendships with guys even though it can be exasperating. Well such is life. Of course no one violated me as happened to you, so I don't have that additional trauma with which to deal. I do think infadelity in a marriage is a symptom of something terribly awry in that relationship. So who knows, you are in therapy because they weren't! 

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  2. Andie372 7 years ago

    I'm sorry you have to go through this with your mother.  I would be very embarrassed if that had happened to me.  I think your mom is out of control and has lost touch with her nurturing side.  I don't blame you if you cut her out of your life. 

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