I finally completed my legal battle (custody) with my ex husband.  I feel his lawyers wore us down till eventually he got his way and I and my children are and will be at a loss.  I am dissapointed and feel that we didn\'t try as hard as we could when all the evidence was in our favor.  As an anxious person I have a problem with change and my daughter suffering from one in the same will also have an adjustment period.  In fact things will get worse before they get better as she suffers from ecopresis or soiling herself when emotionally stressed.  I feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life by allowing a lot of extra time including numerous overnights during the week with my ex as although he is the childrens father, our issues stem from the relationship ties we have had with him and continue to have.  I feel like I could die of a broken heart.  How this will be effective is beyond me.  I feel bamboozled by the court system and am now in need of some major prayers.  The many days I spent in the hall way of that old justice building has prepared me for observances of all shakes of life.  They are all suffering and the fat cats continue to win.  I can\'t even fathom what will happen in the days to come as this amended parenting agreement will be put into place.  I don\'t know any father who has a 2-5-5-2 schedule.  Our original agreement was the shared agreement given by the courts which included every other weekend and Weds. visits and 6 weeks during summer.  I will be at a constant worry about the welfare of the children while they are with him as he has indicated reports of abuse from Child Services.  Although the shift of responsiblity has taken place they are still my children and a mothers love is a hard bond to break.  I end in this I will fight and I will fight and I will fight.  My children will not lose hope and although my stride is broken, it is not unmendable.