So I’m not sure how to start this…my dad and I have always had a crazy bumpy relationship. One minute were laughing together and the next he can be the biggest jerk of life. I have lived with my dad on and off since I was in the seventh grade. We are so much alike yet also so different. Until about 3 weeks ago I was living with my mom in new mexico thinking everything was fine. I had a steady stable job and was just starting to make friends. That was until my whole world fell apart. I learned my dad was coming to visit me. My dad gives me the highest level of anxiety. Its been like this my whole life. When I found out he was visiting I wasn’t sleeping anymore and I felt like I constantly wanted to throw up. On top of that at the last minute he calls and says he’s now bringing his girlfriend…so on top of my anxiety I now had to worry about him bringing his flavor of the month? How was that fair. Two nights before my dads visit was supposed to come to an end my world shattered. My mom sister dad and his girlfriend plus myself were supposed to go out to dinner. My mom comes into the room and says before we go let’s have this conversation with Celine. I had no clue what was going on…my parents collectively told me you’re moving back home with your dad. My stomach dropped and I instantly burst into tears. I had no choice. Apparently I’m draining on my already exhausted mother. Now I’ve been home for 2 full weeks and trying as hard as I can to adjust to living with my dad again. Its literally boot camp. Shape up or ship out. I’m a circle and my dad is trying to mold me to fit in a square hole which just doesn’t work. I’m not sure how I’m going to continue to do this.. Help!!!

  1. bridgie101 7 years ago

    can I ask why you didn’t leave home and go flatting with some friends instead of leaving town with dad? You’re 20 right, and you had a job. I just wonder why you didn’t just say ‘get stuffed’ and go do your thing.

    I think your mum’s a bit of a shit. Actually I think she’s an enormous one. If she doesn’t want you living with her she had a duty to have the conversation about you moving out with you before she dragged dad in; and what’s more she ought to know dad gives you anxiety, and that this would be a form of torture.

    Having said that, there’s nothing like prolonged proximity for anxiety attacks ending. Maybe if you stay with dad a while you’ll crash through this anxiety and be able to forge a relationship with him. Do you know how this anxiety with him started?

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    • Author
      celinewells123 7 years ago

      It was no choice for me to stay in new Mexico even with friends. My parents blew a gasket when I even made the comment that I couldn’t go with my dad if I wasn’t at home when I left. Between my two parents I’ve always been closest to my mom. It’s just how it’s been but that’s what she considers draining I guess. My dad is a huge source of my anxiety. As long as I can remember it’s been liked this. I think it’s because he’s more of the discipline and controlling parent. Don’t do this without that consequence etc etc except way more extreme. Which is why I feel like I’m rebelling now. Since I’ve been back with my dad I’ve only spent two nights at home. I hate it here

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      • bridgie101 7 years ago

        I still don’t understand why it wasn’t a choice to stay in New Mexico. I mean, you didn’t have parental consent but who cares? If you have a job, you can just walk out.

        Maybe it’s time to leave home entirely, and just do what you want whether they want you to or not. 🙂 I left home at 18. I managed fine.

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  2. whoami2 7 years ago

    You are stuck in a hard place, and those whom you should be able to turn to for support claim they have their own lives to live instead of incorporating you in it.

    Fathers are professionally considered to be the most important parent of all, it’s sad to hear your dad falls somewhat short of the mark.

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  3. dragongirl 7 years ago

    Check it out you’re 20 years old time to leave the nest!!!!! My friend Kayla was 14 when she had to leave home. Her mom in jail and her dad had died of a drug overdose! No offense time to stop complaining and grow up!!!! Kayla has had to work and support herself since 14 years of age on top of taking care of her baby brother here in the united states Yes Ma’m. Want to know my story kicked out at 18 had to go live with my birth mom. Her house ws a revolving door and she destroyed my credit plus my reputation. She loved my fiancé more than me and said he was a better than I a daughter. Even though I’m the only one that gave up 5 years of my life in my family to take care of her after she back stabbed everyone she ever came across. As far as your dad at least you know him!!!! I found mine at 25 and only got to know him for 8 months till he died of a heart attack not to mention he had remarried and raised 3 boys while i grew up without a father!!! NO OFFENSE SWEETHEART I THINK I WOULD TRADE MY PROBLEMS FOR YOURS!!!! IM SORRYYOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE FORCED TO MOVE BUT THERE ARE SHELTERS TO WHERE YOU COULD HAVE KEPT YOUR JOB!!!!!!! Grow up and open your beautiful eyes. Fyi I’m technically homeless living with my sister and I lost everything recently. I’m not trying to be mean at all I’m just being honest blunt and truly I do care or I would just shut up.

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