Last night I had to say goodbye to my best friend.
I’m not quite sure what to do. I just feel lost. The realization is finally sinking in, that I probably will never see him again. I won’t be spending the weekends with him playing endless hours of video games, binge watching shows and movies. I’ll never walk through the door of his house anymore. See the face that has been so familiar. I wanted to tell him so many things today and will never get the chance
He was the one person who’s been there for me, never judge me and always knew what to say. He helped me through so much in just a few short years. Helped me become a better person. Provided me with a place to be when things were too much to handle with my family.
It’s sinking in now that I’m stuck. I have no where to run when I can’t be home. No one to help me when everything is overwhelming. But what hurts more than anything is knowing I can’t do the same for him either.
We were each others safety nets. Someone to talk to when life was overwhelming. We could talk to eachother about absolutely anything. It hurts to know I can’t be there for him. I know he’s scared and doesn’t know what to do. We went through so much over the last few years. He saved my life.
Even though dating didn’t work out for us, we still loved eachother. I never felt the way I did for him about anyone. If there really is someone who everyone, he was it. And I’ve never admitted that until now.
I just feel like I’ve lost my other half. Everything feels empty. He was the last true friend I had left. I’m not sure what to do now or how to cope. I know I sound selfish and needy, but it still doesn’t change how I’m feeling.