Later on in life, dad started bible study once a week so we could learn what I already assumed to be the longest practice of patience I've ever endured.

Twenty – six years and holding.

He'd take a simple story like, "The Creation", and expect a lengthy deciphering to it's meaning….

Like, In the beginning, God created the Heaven's and the Earth. Now he started with a vacant, deformed lot; that had a busted culvett, so there was water everywhere, and God hoovered over it scratching his head mumbling, "How do I drain this?"

A couple of days in to the work; Jesus showed up from where ever he was at, you know; God forbid he was at home helping his father.

He asked, "How's it comming Dad?"

"Well son, I got the pipes in; so the water's on. I sodded the lawn. Now I'm getting ready to rigg up this light fixture."

So, Jesus went off in to the woods to gather up two of every animal, I guess they were going to need them for a sailing project later on.

Then, he sat in the dust and built a little sandman, which ladies goes to show us that men truly have been made from dirt since day one. Jesus brought him home and asked , "Dad, can we keep him?" And God shook his head saying, "Ah, damn!" Which Jesus thought was a great name, so they had a little buddy to run around the garden.

That evening after a plate of ribs, Jesus took one of the bones and carved out a woman, you know fella's; stiff and brittle, but when they're not around it feels like somethings missing. Jesus laid her next to Adam, so when he awoke startled he gasped, "Eve! Who are you?" She replied, " I guess I'm Eve."

Well, God gave Adam a pair of dice, told him to work for the 6, and rest on 7, but one round of snake eyes and he crapped out, loosing it all.

Then one day Even got naked and said, "Hey honey, eat this!" Now God got very upset at them for that, (He was Stanley Roper)

So being the crafty serpent that he was, he cut the leg's from under them, had them evicted and foreclosed on the gate, which was later reduced to a pile of flamming steel.

And thus came the Department of Health and Human services, otherwise known as the waiting line to HELL!

Copyright 2010


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