I signed up today as a member and my first day to finally turn my life around. I am TERRIFIED about this journey I am going to take ALONE as I really don't know what to expect or think and just hope and pray I have the strength and will power to turn this around. I have an addiction to herbal highs and have so for a few years now on a daily basis.  I also drink alcohol quite frequently. Because of this awful DRUG that I introduced into my life and my home I have and still continuing to ruin family relationships (my 2 children mainly), friends and I lost my job recently as a result of this and now I may even lose my home. I have really changed as a person however I can't see much of a difference myself (I'm not in denial), as it is difficult to see as clear as others.  I know i have but would love to see it through someone who loves me…(their eyes) so I can see what heartache and confusion I am causing everyone.  Nobody knows I struggle with this however was mentioned once or twice about "been on drugs" however denied it at all costs, but now more people are noticing me and secretly questioning me as to what's going on.  My attitude and personality has changed and I notice this so well and nearly know what is going through their heads when they talk to me.  I am looked at differently by my friends and family and I know I;m not taken very serious sometimes (I would love to see me and hear me as they do).  Financially, Mentally I have hit rock bottom, I am losing everything and damaging the important people in my life and myself. Nobody knows my struggle and I plan to keep it that way.  I am going to do this on my own and hopefully this will never come out and just get back to the old me before the worst happens….