I signed up today as a member and my first day to finally turn my life around. I am TERRIFIED about this journey I am going to take ALONE as I really don't know what to expect or think and just hope and pray I have the strength and will power to turn this around. I have an addiction to herbal highs and have so for a few years now on a daily basis.  I also drink alcohol quite frequently. Because of this awful DRUG that I introduced into my life and my home I have and still continuing to ruin family relationships (my 2 children mainly), friends and I lost my job recently as a result of this and now I may even lose my home. I have really changed as a person however I can't see much of a difference myself (I'm not in denial), as it is difficult to see as clear as others.  I know i have but would love to see it through someone who loves me…(their eyes) so I can see what heartache and confusion I am causing everyone.  Nobody knows I struggle with this however was mentioned once or twice about "been on drugs" however denied it at all costs, but now more people are noticing me and secretly questioning me as to what's going on.  My attitude and personality has changed and I notice this so well and nearly know what is going through their heads when they talk to me.  I am looked at differently by my friends and family and I know I;m not taken very serious sometimes (I would love to see me and hear me as they do).  Financially, Mentally I have hit rock bottom, I am losing everything and damaging the important people in my life and myself. Nobody knows my struggle and I plan to keep it that way.  I am going to do this on my own and hopefully this will never come out and just get back to the old me before the worst happens….

3 Comments
  1. alanoriley 8 years ago

    Dear Future,

    Welcome to the "Tribe."  I'm rather new myself and have found this a wonderful tool for my recovery already.  As you have found by seeking out this website you are not alone.  I'm not familar with "herbal highs" exactly but I am a drug addict and an alcoholic in recovery.  Although the drugs may be different the outcome is typically the same.  Please continue to come back and if you have any questions I'm sure somebody here would be happy to help you get the answers.  The first step is to put down whatever mind and mood altering drugs you are using.  If you need help doing that there are certainly detox and rehab centers in your area.  The first step is up to you and you alone.  Once you accpmlish that you never have to be alone again.  Millions of recovering alcoholics and addicts can guarantee that.  If you have any questions, publish them here and you may find what you need or be pointed in the right direction.  As I mentioned I'm new to this site myself.  Thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.  keep blogging and keep us posted.

    Alan

     

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  2. AlphaOmega 8 years ago

    Hi,

    You wrote in your last sentence "I am going to do this on my own". By your reaching out and letting this online community know about your struggle, you are now no longer on your own. I hope that knowing this gives you strength.

    Cheers, and good luck,
    From another new member 🙂

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  3. future 8 years ago

    Thank you very much for all your welcoming comments, very much appreciated especially as you don't know me.  A little Irish Blessing for you all on your road to getting your life back

     

    Bealtaine áthas agus síocháin timpeall ort,

    Sásamh latch doras,

    Agus a bheith sonas a bhfuil tú anois,

    Agus Dia leat evermore

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