Well, here's my deal (since I guess there should be an intro of some sort in the first post):

I was just recently diagnosed with severe depression, as well as hypo-manic bipolar disorder and social anxiety (that's right, I hit the trifecta!). As most people who read this will know, the first course of action is getting medication into the system, letting the body react and adjust to the dosage, and then begin therapy (roughly 4 weeks later).

I was put on a low dosage of Lamictal, as well as Clonazepam twice daily. So far, all I can say is I feel more fatigued than before I was put on the medication. I still have the same feelings as I did before, most revolving around how the heck I'm going to break this news to close friends and potential romantic interests. With most of my current friends, we have more-or-less a very superficial relationship (talk about sports, music, video games, but nothing deep or personal). I honestly have no idea how to break to them that the guy they've known as fun-loving has been faking it for so long.

As for romantic interests, that concerns me even more. I freak out over the notion that I could be going on dates medicated, things get serious and then what? "Oh by the way, I'm clinically depressed and have been on medication this whole time." How is someone supposed to respond to that? Maybe I'm just reflecting how I'd react, but it would just seem deceitful that it didn't come up in the first place. On the other hand, there are 100 different opening lines I'd rather use on a girl than "Hey I'm depressed! Can I get your number???"

I guess I'm just looking for guidance right now with how to go about this. I'm still wrapping my mind around the notion that something could be wrong with me chemically and, as someone who likes to feel in control, can't really fathom that this may be something I need help with.

Anyways, I guess I'll keep this blog going to chart how things are going. Will there be improvement? Only time will tell…

1 Comment
  1. stenna16 13 years ago

    I've been on Lexapro for about 5 months now (20mg). I was told that when you are on meds people around you will notice a change before you do and thats how it was for me. My parents noticed the change before I was even aware of it. I had the same concerns about talking to my friends about the issue.

    At first I only told one friend who had been through the same ordeal. I eventually told others. When I told someone else I wasn't sure what to expect. My friend didn't really say much just that she hoped I started feeling better. It was a little awkward but it wasn't too bad. I think the problem is that most people don't understand depression and other disorders so they aren't sure how to respond. However, that being said, once I started talking about this to more people the responses were good. I finally got more of a support system and I found out that there are more people out there than you think that have their own problems. It just doesn't seem that way because most people are embarassed and try to keep it hush hush.

    I understand where everyone is coming from saying you don't have to tell people — thats true, you don't. But if you have a few close friends sometimes it isn't a bad idea to talk to them about it. They will understand and it's nice to have someone to talk to if you're having a rough day. Thats what I did. Obviously it can be a little uncomfortable sometimes and thats why I decided to join here. I can say what I feel and not be judged.

    The romantic situation, well, I wouldn't worry too much about that. If you are just meeting someone you don't need to discuss this with them. Yea over time you might want to discuss it but I don't think it's necessary to say it on a first date. I've been doing the whole dating scene thing and I haven't told anyone about anything. If it gets serious maybe it will come up but I don't think its deceitful not to talk about it upfront. Let them get to know you as a person first, don't give them a reason to label you at the start.

    All I can say is, don't worry so much about everything. It'll be fine

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