Another day, another blog.
Today my dad wanted to talk to me about school and mental health. I was really, really, reeaaally nervous. Thank god he didn’t got mad or something. He told me stuff like ‘I know you dont feel okay, blahblahblah, I don’t know if you noticed, but I don’t feel okay either.’ Stuff like that. It was really good to hear, kind of made me feel a little better.

My parents got divorced when I was 6. I didn’t really know what it actually meant, but I did know what was going to happen. My mom, brother and I moved to my grandparents. My dad did the same, but with his parents. We lived there for a year i guess, it was okay. In the house to the right of ours lived this married couple with 2 boys. One of them was my age. We went to the same school, sat in the same class. I was madly in love with him, but he was my best friend. Later that year I told my other best friend about my little kids feelings for this boy. She told this other girl that she thought she could trust. That girl told everyone. Might have been the start of all the bullying. Oh how much I have hated her… But I forgave her, because I’m better than that. I forgave her for the (maybe) start of the years of bullying. The god damn 12 years of bullying. 12 years of my life. 12 years. I don’t regret it, but I DO wonder why I forgave her that easily. It basically ruined my youth for me. While she had the time of her life. By the way, that guy was still my best friend, even tho I got bullied and stuff. The other best friend had been my best friend too, till the end of the last year of primary school. After that we went to the same school, but not the same class. We lost contact, even tho we lived close to each other. Still one of the things I regret most in my life this far. 1/2 years later she dropped school because of mental health problems. I still feel like thats partly my fault, because we lost contact.

Anyway, got to go. Dinner is ready.
Thanks again for reading, if you did. Means a lot to me.

-Elaine

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