So this may seem completely odd for everyone, but lately not only are thoughts of past friends and things like that hurting me, but the fact that I will never be a good enough singer for it to matter to anyone.
Music has always been my life, but lately I honestly feel like it doesn’t matter. I cant sing as high as I used too, I cant hold out the long notes, I feel like I cant do anything
The one thing I have always wanted to do was be on American Idol or Nashville Star, but I now realize that that is a stupid dream, I’ll never be that good so I need to stop trying to get my hopes up like that…
One day maybe I can stop letting this bother me…but not today…
In a family in which everyone played at least one instrument, I studied voice formally (that was my one and only instrument). I am so jealous that you have had the courage to share your voice with others. I was terrified to do that and could only sing in a choir setting without becoming mute. Now I am 58 and my voice has changed, just as you are beginning to experience. But I find more satisfaction now than I ever did with singing to myself, and now a little (a very little) to a few select people. Maybe you can think of it this way: there are people who get advanced degrees (yes, in voice) from Ivy league schools who cannot make it in the business because it is a one in a million thing. If possible, sing for yourself, and when you feel like it, treat those around you with your beautiful voice, including in local productions. I really hope you keep singing.