I think my husband and I are done. I started having a panic attack again yesterday and I called him. Long story short he starts yelling at me and making it worse because I didn\'t know what I wanted him to do. So in the morning I\'m going to be packing my stuff and leaving.
I am very antsy about it. I haven\'t lived alone in a long time. And having anxiety is going to make it harder. But I don\'t know what else to do anymore. He is getting more and more frustrated with me each time I have an attack or just break down from depression. I keep telling him that I\'m sorry and that I can\'t help it. But it seems to just go in one ear and out the other.
I am to the point where I just want to give up on everything. Its not just Chris that is frustrated, I\'m frustrated, my close friends are frustrated. No one even calls to just ask me how I\'m doing anymore. I don\'t know if I have cause all of this myself or what. I probably have. And it hurts.
Chris doesn\'t know yet that I am leaving. When he got home from work he wouldn\'t even really talk to me. He just sat down and said "The manager was looking at me like I was stupid because I was on the phone with you. The he had the assistant come talk to me about it." The tone and meaning in his voice behind it was so mean. All I could say was I"m sorry and curled up into a little ball on the couch. I didn\'t know what else to do. Everytime I try to talk to him he just gets mad. He takes everything and turns it back onto me and/or doesn\'t listen.
So yep. Morning. Its going to be interesting.