I think my husband and I are done. I started having a panic attack again yesterday and I called him. Long story short he starts yelling at me and making it worse because I didn\'t know what I wanted him to do. So in the morning I\'m going to be packing my stuff and leaving.

 

I am very antsy about it. I haven\'t lived alone in a long time. And having anxiety is going to make it harder. But I don\'t know what else to do anymore. He is getting more and more frustrated with me each time I have an attack or just break down from depression. I keep telling him that I\'m sorry and that I can\'t help it. But it seems to just go in one ear and out the other.

 

I am to the point where I just want to give up on everything. Its not just Chris that is frustrated, I\'m frustrated, my close friends are frustrated. No one even calls to just ask me how I\'m doing anymore. I don\'t know if I have cause all of this myself or what. I probably have. And it hurts.

 

Chris doesn\'t know yet that I am leaving. When he got home from work he wouldn\'t even really talk to me. He just sat down and said "The manager was looking at me like I was stupid because I was on the phone with you. The he had the assistant come talk to me about it." The tone and meaning in his voice behind it was so mean. All I could say was I"m sorry and curled up into a little ball on the couch. I didn\'t know what else to do. Everytime I try to talk to him he just gets mad. He takes everything and turns it back onto me and/or doesn\'t listen.

 

So yep. Morning. Its going to be interesting.

4 Comments
  1. Shelly9790 11 years ago

    I kinda know how you feel, im sorry sweetie. Its hard for our \”others\” to understand. I feel like my bf gets frustrated with me too but what they dont realize is that were trying to reach out to them. Like everyone tells me, we need to find someone that will understand. Sadly for me my person passed away. but maybe just maybe ill find someone and i know you will to, keep your head high! Were all here to help each other out, if you want to talk message me, i know how you feel.

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  2. am3ient 11 years ago

    you are doing the right thing believe me, just focus on yourself and what you need, if hes not supporting you hes hurting you and your progress, ive been there a few times and the best thing for it is to be on your own and devote your energy to you. all the support you need is here, and making a decision like that and following it through will boost your confidence and show you that you can get through problems and come out stronger 😉

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  3. ancientgeekcrone 11 years ago

    I wish you well, it is truly a painful place. It is frustrating to others because the reality is they can\'t help us and standing by as a helpless witness can be too much for them to bear. You do realize when you leave, to whom will you turn? It\'s a tough road for both of you.

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  4. duchamp 11 years ago

    Good luck, you\'re doing the right thing from what I\'ve just read. It will be tough, but your strength will get you through i am sure. focus on you! be happy 🙂

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