For the past four or so days my friends have alienated me.  At least, I think they have.  I don’t know, it’s all very strange and I don’t even know if it’s really happening.

For one, one of my best friends just moved back into town.  He was in college for a year, across the country.  Now he’s back for good.  When he was gone he promised we’d hang out and catch up as soon as he got back.  I’ve only see him twice [once was brief].  Sure, he’s only been back a week or so, but I KNOW he’s been hanging out with others.  One day he wouldn’t answer his phone, and then I see he and one of my so-called friends drive by my house.  I vented a bit to his sister online about all of this and she said she’d have a talk with him.  I don’t know if she actually did and I don’t know if it has anything to do with him ignoring me.  Because when I was talking to his sister I was saying he’s a fake person if he is intentionally flaking on me, yet kept me waiting like an idiot for a whole year for my best friend to come back.

And, my birthday was a few days ago.  A handful of my friends remembered, and I got random texts and shit online from people.  One of my so-called friends [the same one that was in the car with my "best friend" when they were ignoring me] even called me in the morning and sung the birthday song to me.  Tell me why I’m waiting around, again, like an idiot, on my birthday thinking I was going to have something to do.  No one ever called and no one answered my calls.  I find out the next day that they all had a party and have a fabulous time.  Then a few asked ‘Oh, so what did you do on your birthday?’.  This makes me want to scream every time someone asks me this now.   Anyway, the girl who’d called me on my birthday [she was also at the party, by the way] has been acting VERY weird lately.  She basically lied to my face last night and has been acting standoffish.  Well, everyone has.  By everyone I’m basically talking about a group of three or so people.  But we are all friends and have other friends involved, so yeah.  And we live in a smallish town so there’s not much to do but hang out.  That’s why this is important to me.  And the fact that I’ve already had to make new friends at one point in life when my previous ones hated me.

It’s just frustrating that NO ONE will answer my calls, texts,…ANYTHING!  Does it seem like they have a problem with me?  Or maybe I just think they do?  I feel like I need to actually talk to them to confirm.  Yeah, that’s the issue.  I haven’t even been able to speak to any of them so I could be making assumptions.  But how coincidental would this all be if they really didn’t hate me.

I just want to fucking figure everything out.  This is driving me mad and I can’t stop thinking about it.