This is the first blog i ever wrote actually. I am an extremely frustrated and at a point right now where i dont know what to do. Ive had many obsessions in the past but none that has consumed me like this one. to tell this obsession ill start at the beggining. I recently got hired on to a new position around a month ago at the company i work at. My new position involves testing cables to make sure they pass electrically. To set up the machine i use to test these cables involves use tiny little parts. About a week into my job i had several people tell me that these pieces are very fragile and are also very expensive. I was told that if i accidentally would knock one on the floor it would break. and theres only two kits in the room. Within about a few hours after hearing this my anxiety started to kick in. I began thinking what if i did knock one of these to the floor and it broke. What would i haveto face? Would it be a huge ordeal? The guy who is the lead tester there is a miserable person. How would he be if i had to deal with him after i broke one? Since then ive beenable to think of nothing but this. Every day its constant anxiety, all the time!! From the moment i wake up in the morning i just have this sickening anxiety feeling. Ive tried increasing my zoloft which was suggested by my psychiatrist. I see a therapist weekly who continues to tell me to face it and live with the anxiety. "Yeah thats so easy" And about two weeks ago i talked to my supervisor about it and she told me if it happens its not the end of the world they can be replaced. That talk also did nothing to help. At this point im seriously considerning the possibility of just walking out if i would break one of these. at least telling myself i can do that provides some relief. I know this is not the best answer for a reference in the future or to help beat my ocd. But at this point im desperate and would do anything to just feel some relief from this constant anxiety. I don't feel anybody should have to feel this way everyday. its no way to live!! Thanks for listening. Id appreciate any feedback I get. Im beyond desperate for relief!!!!!

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