Hi all. I am new here. I have suffered with OCD since I was ten. I am now older and still fighting. I had gone several years without any major issues but starting in 2005 it reared its ugly head again. And the fear has been the same since then, and has really just morphed from other fears I have had before which all involve the fear of illness and dying. As my shrink says "If you are gonna have a fear, go big!"


Since 2005 my fear has been rabies. I got scratched by a dog that I found out had played with a skunk (with do have that disease in this area). Though the dog was ok and up to date with its shots, I freaked and went into total shutdown mode. I was working for myself so I just cancelled jobs and locked myself away at home. Finally I went to the hospital and checked into the psych ward. After only 8 hours they sent me home because there was nothing really wrong with me mentally except the fears I had (which, btw, are SO much easier to deal with when you see truly sick people in there). My shrink upped my meds and that seemed to help but 4 months later the same fear hit me again and this time no contact with anything tangible. I feared bats had bitten me even though I never saw one. I stayed home again from my job. After a month, it subsided again. My shrink, who was really really good, passed away in 2008 and I did without for awhile, until these feelings started coming back, but not as strong as before. My new one was in the same office as the old one and she is really good as well.


Which brings me to why I am here now. After almost 4 years and no major issues, last week I was taking my cat to the vet. There has been a stray cat that has been hanging around and sleeping under my car. Anyway, as I loaded my cat's carrier into my wife's car, she said "There goes that stray kitty again." I looked over my shoulder and saw the stray walking away in my neighbors yard. Suddenly, I thought "had that cat been under my car…..did it bite me or strached me or lick me?" I had a cut on my leg from the night before and when I saw that I thought oh s**t, it probably did and now I have rabies!" For the first time in four years my alarm bells all went off and I was in freak out mode.


I had to follow my wife to the vet as after we left she was heading out of town and I was taking the cat back home. My wife was gone for 5 days and I was so freaked. The animal control people even came and got the cat when it showed up in my backyard again. It is still fine and alive a week later. I called the county health group and they said that they wouldn't release the rabies treatment because the cat was healthy and there hasn't been a cat with rabies in our area since the 1980s. But I am still freaked. What if it isnt the right cat they found (my wife says it IS the cat we saw). I am just freaking out and 3 shrink visits in one week still hasn't made it go away.I know I must fight this, but its hard. Sorry for the LONG post.



1 Comment
  1. LISAS23 10 years ago

    I used to do the same thing (sometimes still do) with the what if?? what if?? and so on. All I can say is trying to reason it out sometimes works (although I want to punch some people in the face when they tell me to do that-lol) Realistically did the cat bite you–you know it didnt-or scratch or lick–nope. And even if it did would you get rabies–chances are no because it doesnt have rabies. And even if it did-it didnt bite you.Your mind is stuck on a repeat cycle-I've been there. Try and sit with the anxiety for a bit-face it rather than going into freakout mode. Ok–what if? what next? course of action, slow down, take a breath..you can do this. 🙂


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