Today is my Anniversary; 27 years clean and sober. A pure miracle that I am ALIVE much less clean and sober, mental illness somewhat in check as its geting treated. Yes; ALIVE. Sounds dramatic because it is. I am dually diagnosed as they call it. I used alcohol/drugs to treat my anxiety/depression. I tried everything I could to try and escape including attempting suicide. If I were not sober; I would be dead – literally. Statistically i have surpased the survivaI/recovery rate.have been thru enough in my 46 years to make a good movie of the week (on regular TV – not good enough for a cable pay channel).I went thru treatment and joined AA at a young age. Life became beautiful til my mental health issues started. Hospitalizations, constant med changes and meds that didnt work, bad shrinks and therapists, good shrinks and therapists, learning how to have a relationship; healthy and not so healthy. Going to college, earning advanceddegres, finding a career,losing it due to my illness, going on SSD.I never would have survived all the B.S., the life lessons, the heaven and hell, the pain and the bliss if I were not free of drugs and alcohol. I used to be broken and now I am healing……my life is a cakewalk (ever do those as a kid?) compared to what it used to be. I would tell you about it but it woud make you sick – I try to keep it to myself. Let's just say I am not at the YWCA, homeless while some girl steals my bag of egg noodles – the only food I had at 3 months sober. I am a miracle. Not to my credit too much. I have had so much love and support a long the way; when I couldnt love myself. For some God forsakin reasn I didnt give up – no matter what. I don't know where that comes from. I do know that being a member here for only a month; it has helped tremendously; I isolate, I close myself off, I can become very ashamed when I am having axiety problems. This site and the friends I have made have helped get me thru the latest bout of anxiety where i was teeetering on the edge of sanity….no, honestly, may have actually lost it. I just wanted to share my good day – something I might not have done awhile ago. I have lived well beyond my potential as a human beingconsidering my diagnosis.Thanks for taking the time to read this. If I can do this thing called life – anyone can -believe me.


1 Comment
  1. coolbeans 10 years ago

    Oh Mo! I am so proud of you for sticking it out no matter what and defying the odds! I am so glad you are clean and sober and are enjoying life! Thank you so much for sharing this with us, I feel very priviledged 🙂 I am so happy for you and this blog just makes my day! Again, thanks for sharing and keep doing what you\'re doing!

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