So I realize that I don’t do emotions and social situations the same way that those around me do. I don’t really know why but I would love advice on how to be better at either one.
Emotions are a bit scary. I have always been able to understand my brother’s emotions cause he’s pretty straightforward. He really just has like a specific face for each emotion and I know which one is which. Other people are more confusing. For example, if my sister is acting a certain way I don’t know if she is mad, sad, annoyed, scared, or something else. This is also inconvenient in arguments because it can escalate pretty fast when I am unable to understand that the other person is upset. I also get really worried because I don’t know if someone is mad at me or just wants to have a friendly conversation. Honestly, emotions just confuse me.
I also don’t know how to respond to emotions. For example, if someone is crying I know they are sad but what do I do from there? I don’t want them to be sad but I don’t know what I can do to make them feel better. I mean I have zero ideas and I don’t want people to think I don’t care cause I genuinely do but I really have no idea what I should do to show that I care.
Thirdly, there are social situations. I don’t know how to communicate with people. I mean, I’m sixteen and I have gotten my communication skills from wikiHow. I have two icebreakers that are basically the same thing and classmates already make fun of me for not having any other conversation starters. I also don’t know how to end a conversation. Unless the other person ends the conversation, I might walk out of the room mid-sentence and not realize anything was wrong with that until I think about it later. Like how do people end conversations? I don’t know how to change a subject either so that is hard when I really want to talk about something.
Lastly, I don’t understand eye contact. Like when do I make eye contact? I literally just don’t and I feel like there are situations where I should but I really don’t know. It’s just really weird and uncomfortable and I don’t get why people do it. It’s not required or anything, right?
I dunno. I guess if anyone has any advice on understanding emotions or on how to talk to people or eye contact that would be great. Thank you for your time.
Hey, I have some tips about the last bit. Making eye contact with people is good when they’re talking to you. It makes them feel like you’re listening and cafe about them and it makes it easier to pay attention to what they’re saying so you can respond better.
And here are some conversation starter ideas:
-Complimenting them
-“how was your day/weekend/evening?” Etc
-“anything cool/fun you’re doing on the weekend/spring break/summer break?” Etc
-if you recognize an emotion, label it and tell them you noticed. Example: “hey, I noticed you looked sad today, what’s wrong?” Then listen, make eye contact, and empathize. “ oh, that sounds really rough,” or “ I’ve been there and it sucks.” Sometimes people want advice, so if you’ve experienced it, you can ask the person if they want some tips. Share what you learned from your experience if they say yes. Other times people just need a listener and encouragement. “ you can do this!” “ I believe in you,” “you’ve got this,” etc. smile at them while you’re saying this:)
I hope that helped! Feel free to DM me if you have more questions and I would love to know how this turns out! I’m introverted and have learned how to be a social butterfly. You can do it!:)
Also: do the Enneagram personality test, it will help you understand yourself more and how you can get better:)