My name is Jessica, it is currently 1:45am (morning) and i havent slept. I cannot force myself to lay down, shut my eyes, and just sleep. Its too hard for me, i struggle falling asleep and staying asleep so I sleep all day most of the time. Then since my dad doesn’t understand literally anything, he sits here and yells at me constantly everyday all day. I truthfully don’t think i’ve ever heard anything nice about me come out of his mouth, it hurts so much to sit here and pretend im ok everyday…to get up in the morning and get my coffee or tea or milk or whatever, and to shower, and clean my room, and do homework. It is so hard to spend my showers and late nights cutting myself then walking out of the shower like im ok or waking up to a new day when i didn’t even want to experience the last one let alone this one. I dont have any friends or anyone to talk to and i feel so alone. I lay in bed everyday all day with the thought of suicide on my head, i have no clue what to do anymore but i know for sure i cannot promise anyone i’ll be here in a week or a month or so on. My parents fight constantly, well my dad and my step mom do. My mom left me and three of my brothers when i was 5 or so and i think about it all the time. I don’t know why she left but she chose drugs and sex over me and it tears me apart to know i wasn’t good enough for her. What did i do wrong? If ur going through anything like me at all feel free to ask to talk im open ears to everyone…i promise you.