I have had so much bad luck in my life and I try to keep punching, I frequently come across obstacles in life which seems to knock me down and even though I get back up and fight through it, it just seems a little bit of me is knocked and I have now got to the stage where there isn’t much left of me to fight.

My Anxiety levels are at a all time high and it hurts emotionally, physically and mentally. I don’t know how much more I can carry before I am completely out of energy to get up and keep going…

I work so hard and never have time to play. I have gone through school and 6th form and University and untold courses to add to my qualifications, I claim nothing, get help from no one, but it just isn’t enough to help me survive and support my fiance and myself.

My family (if you can call it a family) have no time for me and just take, take, take but I get nothing back, not even appreciation- not that I expect it, but sometimes it would be nice to get some acknowledgment of the hard work and  commitment I put in.

My fiance and I are going through a really bad patch and it is all mainly to do with money and his stresses with his kids as the mother uses them as a weapon, but it just seems to be really bad and I am afraid of loosing him but at the same time he is making the situation a whole lot worse with his attitude, and i can understand that he is not in a great place at this present moment (and I’m not claiming I am all innocent as I am woman) but he just seems take everything out on me or at me. He never has any time for me and puts all his effort into work and seems like his hiding something, always secretive with his phone. And before anyone says it I have confronted him about it and he just denies it and I should trust him.

My job is a waste of space and treats me like rubbish even though all I do is go that 110% to help everyone and ensure my job is done to a satisfactory standard and all hey have done is make my life hell, financially mainly, physically and mentally draining.

There just seems to be nothing going right in life and I can’t see away out at the moment. I’m drowning… losing my energy to carry on …

1 Comment
  1. puraeomallia 4 years ago

    I feel you need to open up to someone, whether it’s a therapist or someone close to you if you’re not ready to tell your fiancé. If you bottle these feelings in, you’ll end up doing something irrational and possibly mess up parts of your life. Im always here as a person to vent to, if that’s what you require.

    – Purae

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