When I was younger my family used to have big family events, where family and friends all attended. I used to love that, that was a important thing to me, and it meant a lot. But things happen, and that all changed.
I heard around the grape-vine that a my Aunt was here from Minn. But both me, and my mom weren't told, because certain people in my family can't grow up. That is why I give up on them, like they did on me a long time ago. I grew up, and I have been trying to change my life. But people can't get over stupid crap, there jealous, hurtful, lairs, and more. My one Aunt who lives in Riverview comes down here a few times to try to see my nephew but never calls to tell me or my mom she is in town, lets meet have some dinner or anything. She won't travel what 8 miles from town to come and see us. Then my Aunt comes from Minn., my other Aunt calls to asks for my brothers phone number but never tells me, my other Aunt is in town, then my other brother never tells us she is in town either, he says she this and that but then is all buddy, buddy to them and to me & mom, no that ends now. I thought maybe things could be forgotten, and forget what was done. I tried to, and I want to move on. But it's over my Aunts are not my Aunts, there no longer my family. I know why I moved to Florida, it wasn't just so I could maybe go to college, start over, but to get away from all the bullshit. That is why my grandma decided to go with me, because they were never there for her, and she knew that only I was there for her, and that if I left, she would be all alone. My Aunt who lives in Minn. tried to get her to move several times, when grandma and I were living together for her to move to Minn., but she wanted grandma to live in a senior citizens building, and grandma asked her how much will you come over to see me, and help me. My Aunt said mom I have work, and the kids are doing all this after school stuff. Maybe once a week. Grandma asked her what about Danielle, my Aunt said so what about Danielle. My grandma said no, she wasn't moving there. I might have said, and did things sometimes that I didn't mean to grandma but I never stopped loving her, caring for her, taking care of her, and I always said I was sorry. No one else showed any of those things for her. She knew that if something happened to her, that if she didn't put in her Will that everything was to go to me, that my Aunts would have took everything that belonged to me, even stuff that I bought. She told them when she sold the house for them to get what they wanted, that she was leaving whatever else to me. When my grandma got sick in Florida, they both ran down to Florida, one because my Aunt became the medical decider. But they pulled me out in the hall, and said to me, that they were taking grandma back to Michigan, and that I was going to go in and tell her, without crying, that I would be ok without her and that she could go back to Michigan. She told them she wasn't leaving me, and that was why they said that to me. I couldn't say it, because grandma told me, she never wanted to live her last days in a nursing home my Aunt worked at, because of what had happened when we all lived in a manufactured home. My Aunts just liked to boss my grandma around, when they needed something grandma would help them. Grandma always had a good heart, no matter what you did she always was there to help, and I would do the same. And I still do. But people can only take so much of crap. I am hurt that I'm left out of things. And certain people don't understand that. My grandma never left me out of things, she was always there. When I lost her to Leukemia in Florida, thats why when I came up here, I fell apart because the one person who cared for me no matter what, that was always there, that never made me feel like a outsider, that was my grandma, my best friend, and like my mom was gone. A day doesn't go by that I don't miss her. I feel left out, I at times feel like I don't belong, and I wish I had that. I know that part of the problem is my grandma always bitched about me to my Aunts, but a lot of it wasn't the truth. My grandma was mentally ill, she would tell me when she had her nervous breakdowns she remembered everything, and she knew what she was doing. But that was a lie. She lied a lot, but I forgave her. She was only human. But certain people you can forgive, but it comes a time that you just can't take no more. My core of my family got closer, my brothers, and my mom. But I don't like games, and being lied to. I have to good of a heart, and I do things for others, and get trampled on. I don't hate my family, I just dislike the things they do, to me and my mom. I know I keep going on, and on. Just because there childhood wasn't like mine, like grandma babying me, and getting me things like they never had, and so on and on. If it wasn't for my grandma, neither one of my Aunts would have what they have. My grandma worked her ass off for my Aunt to go to College, but when she graduated she never was thanked, and my dumb ass grandpa tried to take credit, but grandma paid for it all. Then when my other Aunt had really no place to live, and wanted to go back to school. Grandma helped her out. Even though, if I hadn't signed to buy a manufactured home, and for lot rent, then she would have had to find another place to live. And I honestly never wanted to, because the way I was treated by her but out of the goodness of my heart and because of my nephew I did. But when I was homeless she told me, it was my moms responsibly. I told her, I would pay rent but no. Then I hear recently that if my brother needs a place to live, he can move in with her. So were is all the it's your moms responsibility thing.  It all ends here, I have no Aunts.  If my niece's and nephews want to be part of my life then ok, but they are no longer my family.
I might bitch about the past family stuff, and people say you know what they are, and they will never change. But I am human, and sometimes we do bitch about others. But no matter what I always gave a shit, and tried. But that is the truth. I am not perfect, no one is. I am sorry for the things I have done, and other people need to grow up. So you don't want me, or my mom which is your sister included in anything, then so be it. But when you someday need something (I am not supposed to say this, and I know there family) but you can go somewhere else, and find other support. I am just pissed off right now, and I might change my mind. But I am saying it now, and letting you know, and others know how I feel. I think family should be there for each other no matter what, that they should be together and not far apart, be honest and open, that to take each day with each other in stride because tomorrow it could be there last day or yours. But I guess thats not the way my family is anymore, or even was. I think nothing was true, it was all bullshit, just a show for all that we knew. I don't know if anyone else feels this way or not, but if you read this and do let me know.


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