Since finding the site and just posting one blog. I can honestly say by being able to have a spot to vent a little and share what i am struggling with, I do feel a tad better.  I was scared at first that when people read they are quick to judge and i expected negative feed back.  I honestly havent gotten any feed back which is ok because i think just being able to vent a little bit was really theraputic.  I dont feel as mentally exhausted as i have felt this past week. And i mean i felt just so miserable, went to work and was miserable didnt want to be there and well i probably made a stupid decision to leave. But that wasn’t neccasarily a bad thing. (sorry for spelling).  Had an interview today and was told id be called monday so thats a plus and lift to things going on in my life. I feel a little better, thought id start and taking a mulitvitamin and see if that could lift me up.  What i am scared about honestly is i dont want to go back to any kind of pill or medicine. I weened myself off all of that and i been on some type of anti depressant and or anxiety medicine since i was 25.   I did it by starting to go to the gym excersise pretty hard and I felt amazing and i think i need to get back to that.  And the only reason i stopped was due to COVID…and i cant risk my type 1 diabetic son getting it and i felt that going to a gym was a high risk at that point. But i feel a tad better and i think being able to blog is kind of lifting for me. I guess ill see where this goes and what becomes of it…I think it would help a lot of others to maybe get a journal and write or make your own blog and vent..you dont have to share it or do..maybe others are in the same situation you are and its nice to know that your not the only one to be going through it.  Mental Health is an issue a lot of people struggle with and are to afraid to admit.  Myself i do  feel that way and hate to ask to talk to anyone because you know you dont want people to think oh my god this person is mental or being wrongfully being stereotyped as being a mental case or unhinged, thats not the case for me.  People sometimes just cant understand some of us have a hard time admitting it or wanting to talk about it because we all feel bad about it..i mean i totally get it because I feel the same way..Theres no shame in hiding it but we all know if we chose the wrong people to open up to we face ridicule or being talked about which i find just idiotic.  I was always taught when people reach out you need to help or at least listen. Hopefully by keep blogging it will help me more and make me feel like a lot is lifted off my mind.  I am always in my head wondering if what i do or say or chose to do is right or wrong and at times i feel bad..sometimes not.  But so far today i feel a tad bit better i can admit which is a plus. I hope others find some if not just a tad bit of weight lifted by maybe blogging or just reading comments here. Cant wait to see or blog more and see where it goes.

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