I\'ve been home now for 3 weeks from uni.. it\'s been good & bad to be honest. I\'ve been spending quite a bit of time with my boyfriend and things are going really well, which surprises me to be honest.
It\'s nearly time to go back (tomorrow) and I\'m feeling a mixture of things. I\'m sad because I love my house, I\'ll miss my niece like crazy & the extra time I\'ve spent with my boyfriend has made me feel really close to him, I think it\'s going to be really difficult not seeing him for weeks.
On the other hand, there are things I\'m growing sick of at home. I\'m 20, I consider myself to be very mature and independent. When I\'m at uni I do what I like, when I like and I give very little thought to letting others know. When I\'m at home, I become \'the child\' again, because I\'m the youngest, and I get a heck of a lot of questions and tellings off and instructions – I\'m bored of it. I know they\'re looking out for me and I\'m told that it\'s to be expected of my parents to act like that. But really, I don\'t care whats to be expected, I wanted to be acknowledge as more of an adult. I really shouldn\'t complain because they do treat me really well the rest of the time, but if I go out somewhere theres 20 questions to get through first & I know some of the answers won\'t go down well so it leads to telling little lies to please them – which makes me sick because I\'m not a liar, it\'s not who I am, but I try to keep the peace.
So my feelings now are – I really want to get back to uni for some peace and some \'me\' time (which you don\'t get at home because there is always someone around) – but on the other hand, as I may have blogged about before, my uni house is a shambles, the people are horrid, I\'ll miss my boyfriend and I will probably miss my family a hellish amount. On top of this, I\'ve got a friend staying with me the day I get back to uni and I could do with her not being there in all honesty – I need some space and I just can\'t seem to get it 😐 I feel like every minute someone is gonna need something from me or ask me things or just barge in the room and be in my face.
I\'m very confused about how I feel to be honest. I thought writing it out would help me figure it out…. It\'s made it more clear in my head what the issues are though, the only thing I can do is take each moment as it comes and get through the week. The added stress of a mountain of uni work and going back to lectures is freaking me out a huge amount as well – I\'m stressed I think, irratiable & all at once cannot be bothered with any of it.