Okay, so it's not really like anyone is going to read this… (which is why i googles a place to blog where no one i know will ever stumble across it)
But if anyone does please be nice, I'm lying here in my grandmas spare bed, and i was having a shitty night as usual and because there are no new tv shows to download or movies i started raping youtube, just thinking all the usual depressing thoughts in my head, and about how fucked off i am that no one has ever noticed my depression, that i asked my mum for help and she thought i was joking, i mean, how fucking thick can my mother be, honestly, i tried to hang myself when i was 9 years old…. 9…. don't you think thats a pretty obvious sign that something is going on?
Anyways, started messaging an old friend who asked how i was and i told her im getting help… she was all like yaaay good for you, although i have been neglecting my help, i just cant EVER get out of bed, so i miss all my appointments, they put me on anti depresants, but then when my perscription ran out i was feeling too lazy to get out of bed, go to the dr's and get some more so i've basically just given up on myself… yet again… okay seriously what the fuck am i rambling about.
I could sit here and tell my big fucking sob story and everyone would feel sorry for me but i wont, its not like im the onlyu abuse victim in the world, aalthough i still and fucking upset about my best friend killing himself a year ago, and my son being murdered and im 18!!! Whuuuut the fuuuck is wrong with me, seriously…. i got my dream job last year, got suicidal, kept sleeping 3 days without even waking up once and got fired…. gah no one will read this so ima stop rambling now.