Hey too you, The weekend is here and I have no clue as too what too do. I can’t venture too far from home because I don’t have the gas or money for any costly adventure. Hence, the feeling I have of being trapped.
As it stands now, I have my 3.7 mile walk first thing in the morning and then my day is totally free. I really don’t want to get stuck on this computer all weekend but I fear that is what is going to happen. Any suggestions as too what too do with my time is welcomed.
I currently feel blah, weak, tired, and a general sense of yuck. I just got up from a 2 or 3 hour nap. I’ve been eatting all afternoon long and my gut feels bloated. I feel like something is missing in my "step"…like I’ve lost something since I was hospitalized. My concentration is really weak at this time. I feel totally bored. I wonder how much of this feeling is related to the Haldol Deconate shot I recieved while hospitalized. Man that still pisses me off that I was forced too accept that medication against my will. It doesn’t pay too be honest about ones feelings sometimes…especially ones you share with an ignorant psychiatrist. I really resent my psychiatrist.
I would love to suddenly find myself cleaning up my apartment but that’s not likely to happen. I do hope too somehow get myself motivated to at least start some cleaning, even if it’s only half a room.
I miss the energy I had for the first 5 days I was hospitalized prior to the administration of the Haldol Deconate shot. But, maybe this fatigued feeling will pass and I’ll see things differently some moments/days later. I’m actually due for another monthly shot of Haldol come next Tuesday or Wednesday…Not sure what to do; accept the shot or reject the shot?
Right now I wish somebody would just take over my life because I don’t feel like I can steer so well lately…What too do and who too be? I have no clue. I’m really noticing I want to have a "pity party"…poor poor Don…..F*CK!!!
I can’t concentrate long enough too read more than one or two pages at a time, or watch more than 15 minutes of a movie at a time. Do I need more Congentin? Is the 1mg twice daily enough. F*CK, I hate taking more pills too conteract the symptoms of another pill.
My lesson for today from "A Course In Miracles" is as follows: I am not the victim of the world I see…That just doesn’t seem too be siking in right now. I want to sing a song about my victimhood…poor poor Donnie boy…
I’m just hating myself right now.
(does anybody know the correct useage of the word "to" and "too"?…You see I don’t know)
you couid commit to 20 minutes of cleaning – it”s less daunting, and you”d be surprised how much you can affect a space in that time. checking out art is a good idea – or maybe try to create some. it doesn”t matter if you think ur good at it – just express. sing, paint, draw, whatever… just create. it helps when u are trying to rediscover yourself. and, i am NOT A DOCTOR, but i would guess that u don”t need haldol. but thats just my humble opinion. u know better than anyone where you”re at – and i would resent that doc too.
– kit
and don”t hate yourself – ur a great guy.
but if you must, your friends here will love u until u can love yourself.
it will come.
everything will work out in time.
"Are you going to do this?"
"Are you going to do this too?"
You know, to and too is a really silly word. Who made it up!
I am feeling the same, I can”t read or write or watch anything because I just can”t concentrate, I can”t go out because I don”t have the energy, I just feel like a motionless being, I can”t even sleep. It”s like a real life coma.
Can you invite someone over to just talk with you? If not, you know we are here. I normally go in the chat room on DT and just talk to others, you will be suprised how fast time flies in thier.
I hope you feel better soon Xxx