The one thing that is really impending, I don’t know how to do it. I’ve had a lot of problems with "friends" this year..I’ve taken a semester off and I’m 500 miles away from everyone. Next year’s housing decisions have and need to be made now…and it’s awful I hate housing.
I was supposed to live with my friends but the night before i had to submit a housing room request they facebook messaged me and said that they had replaced me and the suite and they hoped I would get a single near them. That really hurt…more than anything because I felt like they went behind my back and excluded me from what they had refered to before as a "group decision".
I really wanted to live with people, I won’t even be in the same building with them…they’re living in like, my dream building, i’ve wanted to live there since I toured the school as a senior in highschool. To see that go and have people live together there and enjoy and get closer to one another while I’m all by myself…It was already going to be really hard after over a semester being away from everything…but now I have to start it alone..or separate, when all of my friends are living together.
I feel like people will be like"why are you in a single? Did noone want to live with you?". That really hurts because I’ve always tried to be a good roommate.
Conicidentally the next day a package arrived from all my friends for valentines day…they sent me valentines and chocolates..I have to call my one friend…I feel like, because I feel like she does care about me, even if she does hurt me…and I feel like I can only stay silent for so long before they’re all like "jenna doesn’t want to be our friend anymore"..but it still hurts and i’ll never feel great about being replaced with housing…like going over there and seeing their cute appartment and seeing them being all happy together about it when I am miserable.
I’m also really upset worried about it because it makes me feel like they havent changed and they’re going to isolate me and be mean to me like last year and hear the same excuse" we can’t help that we’re so close we live together". But I guess I do have to call one of them, but I’m not sure what to say…and i don’t want to make it seem like its done and im okay with what happened with housing and with the whole group gang up mentality that happened….I don’t know what to say