I feel myself slipping deeper into depression, yet again. I was hoping my counselor from the department of labor would call today. She didn't of course. I should have called her.
I wonder what I'll do tomorrow for the couple of hours I'm awake and alone. Probably sit and stare at the computer screen. I feel bad for Gracie, I need to walk her but it's so effing hot. I hate summer!!
Maybe I'll watch a movie that makes me envy the characters, like Twilight or Cruel Intentions. I don't know. Most likely I'll have trouble pulling myself out of bed and when I finally get out of bed, I'll probably just share at my computer screen.
I have nothing happy or upbeat to add, sadly. I don't know the next time I see my therapist. I'm scared to tell her how I'm really feeling for fear it would delay me getting into the school.
Back to my life I guess…
Five minutes later…
I can't even stand to go in the Need Help room. I don't feel like I belong there. People are so nice to try and help but I don't even know what would help me. I'm just so down and love starved. How can people thousands of miles away help? I want so badly to just hold onto someone and cry. I want to know they understand and they don't look down at me for needing a shoulder to cry on.
I just CAN'T get that anywhere. I can't tell my mom–forget telling my dad–I need help and feel like I need a hospital. I'm hoping I can deal on my own but in the past, that hasn't been good or had good turn outs. I don't know what to do.