I just broke downm in my first period class. I cried because I couldnt hold the pain anymore. Hopfully no one saw me. I went to the bathroom and begged my mom to take me home. I needed her. I needed someone to help me. She said she was only going to pick me up if I explained to her what was wrong. I told her I would. When she called the office to pick me up the office lady of course had to get into my buisness and have a talk with me. I didnt want to, but I kinda had no choice. Of course she saw me cry >.< I hate people seeing me cry. I feel so weak when I cry. I really do. But it actually made me feel better to talk to someone about everything. Especially my mom. She finally listened to me which never in my 16 years of life has happened. Shes going to try to find a way to get me on a anti-depressant that my doctor said I really needed. Im going to get some help. Which Im thankful for. Im scared of more pain ahead of me, which I know will happen again before I know it. But hopfully the anto-depressants will help. Ive never been on one before. Ive only been on zoloft for anxiety and excessive migraines which didnt work as well as they were supposed to. I wonder what it feels like to be on a anti-depressant. Im kinda nervous to be honest. Im afraid it will change me. But I want to be changed. Im crazy lol. People always describe me as being either super crazy and loud and obnoxiously out of control or really quiet and moody. I wish I could be one or the other or just in-between. Hopfully these dark thoughts and moments I have will be under control with medicine.

2 Comments
  1. ancientgeekcrone 8 years ago

    I am glad that you are finally getting help.

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  2. Andie372 8 years ago

    Sometimes a breakdown is good because you get everything brought out, and now you're going to get some help, which you so deserve. Don't get discouraged if your med doesn't work on the first try, sometimes it takes a few to get the one that works best for you.

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