My first blog on here yay!

I was curious that if anyone else struggles with the same things with their OCD.

I struggle with:

The thought of becoming ill in public
Contamination
Disease
Needing things to be 'just right'

With the whole becoming ill thing: I can't eat before I leave the house [when I do that is], there are certain foods that cause more anxiety than others, I constantly check my temperature, and hardly sleep at night.

Contamination: My mother brought it to my attention that my brothers girlfriend may have had some sort of hepititis [or something along those lines.] And when she told me that, I literally back tracked in my mind to see if I had used or touched anything she touched that day. And I realized that I used the bathroom after she did. I actually didn't sleep that night because of it. Now I try to avoid things she's touched. I.E: If she uses the peanut butter I won't because she could of licked her finger and then gotten saliva in the jar.

Disease: Every ache and pain I feel in my body, no matter how slight. I always think about how it could be some fatal disease that could of been avoided had I just done this or that. [This is where the 'what if' game comes to play.]

I'm sure many of you understand the 'just right' thing. I'm 20 [nearly] years old and I'm house bound for the most part. I feel so bad when friends invite me out to go do something that normal me would love to do, but OCD me prevents that and keeps me here locked up. But I can't tell them what the actual reason for me staying home is, they wouldn't get it, and there's really no way I can explain to someone. OCD has a way of shoving you into a tiny box, only big enough for you and it. I must say, it gets pretty lonely in here.