My father was pretty old already when I happened
But I have pictures of him and me and I remember some too that he liked me. My brother told me that too.
But my mother didn't like me
She's dead now so I will never find out why
My entire life I have felt like I didn't belong anywhere
I have this aching need to be part of something
A place and people who love me
A place I will be safe so that nothing that happens "outside" can hurt me
I have 2 children who are grown now
I have my brother who is older than me
I had a sister but she died a long time ago I wish she was here now because she had some of the same feelings I have I think
I have HUGE FEELINGS that fill up my heart until it overflows
And all my feelings come pouring out
But nobody hears me so I'm just talking to myself
I am also listening! I also feel very alone!
I definitely hear you. Sometimes all of the feeling is just SO much, I don't know what to do. I always say it's like that kid on the movie American Beauty, who watches that plastic bag moving all around in the wind. It's kind of a silly scene, but also beautiful in that I can relate. I am sorry you feel so alone. Just know that you are not alone!