Hey there. This is my first blog post on this site. I came across it when looking for a support group. I already found so much support. The relief I feel reading about other people expierencing and going through the same things as me make me feel like I'm not crazy! My brother always just told me I was crazy. Crazy because I did something a in a certain order. Or because I had a 'routine.' He likes to mess with me and move things in my room. I can tell when someone has been in my room and even just moved a small piece of paper. I use to think I just was super observent. I look back and realize I have always had OCD. It truely manifested itself in 1997. I began a certain ritual that I continue to this day. It had caused so much personal pain in my life. And it fuels my OCD. I couldn't have friends over because if they made my toys disorganized, I would have a panic attack and cry. I did everything in the same order every day. I still do. if I don't, bad things happen to me or someone close to me. For awhile, I worried that telling people about my OCD would cause bad things to happen. But it got to the point of me having a mental break down when I finally started telling people about it.
And of course people would say, "I'm OCD too!" No. Just because you like to keep things organized and check the door is locked twice doesn't make you have OCD. Of course there are variations. My brother thinks it's all in my head. Says I just being crazy and I need to think logically. To me, this is logic. It's the only logic I have ever known. I started therapy about 3 months ago. And I am just touching base with her on my OCD. I want to make my life liveable again. Because it's getting to the point where I can't anymore.