Its been for fucking ever since I've even posted or even logged on … I am afraid to say I am feeling more frustrated ..afraid..and anxious than ever. I have been suffering with anxiety since I was really young. So almost 10 years now . I don't know what to fuckin do , it goes away and comes back.I'll be happy and fine for months and then it will jus hit me ..so hard that everyday (worse at night) it like overpowers me and makes me feel overwhelmed with emotions. It is also.. so generalized that its ridiculous..sometimes I wish it was one thing I was afraid of cuz sometimes I feel like an absolute idiot being afraid and worrying about everything . From being 11 years old panicking about sleep overs , whether someone was goin to sexually abuse me.. Whether something did or did not happen , whether one day I could kill someone or harm someone else ? What if I get this disease ? Or this mental illness? What if when I'm 30 years old I'm alone ? What if my mother passes away ? What will happen after death? Will I be able to live without my mom ? Did I lie too many times about random little things in my life ? Am I bad daughter ? Bad girlfriend ? Bad friend ? What if I can't take care of a dog … What if I'm a bad owner ? Should I have said this ? Or kept that to myself ? Will I be a good mother one day ? What if I can't even have kids .. LOL I know most of u reading this think holy crap this girl is just..out of it ..This is jus an example of how generalized my anxiety it is.. It varys drastically.. So I ask myself.. Why the fuck am I guilt tripping myself over dumb shit .. Why am I Afraid of the future and the past that I can't seem to live happily in the moment .. I haven't had a full blown panic attack in years ..in which I hyperventelate and feel like I'm about to have a heart attack..instead I feel sad..no motivation..alone and confused..will I have anxiety for ever ? Should I start on meds.. Everyone around me including my boyfriend believe I shouldn't because it will only mask my problems and it could get worse… I'm sitting here crying as I type this out .. Someone please help me be happy .. I am afraid I am falling into depression and I am only 19 . Xo.. Honey

3 Comments
  1. Mo 10 years ago

    Ive has anxiety about…hmmm…23 years. Comes and goes like you said. I took the meds route and it has helped alot….although I learned about my inner fears and triggers thru therapy. Learned coping techniques to for when the [email protected] hits the fan.That also helped alot. I learned that most of my \”triggers\” were issue realated. NOT saying its like that for all. If you sense you are dipping into depression; I would visit a good shrink and get a professional opinion. I wish you the best.

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  2. briza_84 10 years ago

    Dont worry if it helps I am the same way about what if\'s 🙁 and it is really hard to deal with, I have done both ways with and without meds, and honestly I can\'t complain the first years It helped me deal with depression and got better but like you said it comes and goes now I can\'t go nowhere thinking what if! But I go anyway take my happy pill or so I called it, I can only hope the best for you, you are young and have a whole life ahead stay strong.

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  3. Chantale 10 years ago

    I\'m sorry you are feeling this way. I also fear the future so much that I have a hard time enjoying the moment. I have so much to be grateful for but yet just can\'t seem to enjoy it. I also have moments of great sadness, no motivation and I often feel alone and confused. I have three children and a husband and a tone of friends, yet I still feel alone. I am on meds and that is a very personal choice. It has helped me. I wish you luck, you can conquer this, you are young and strong. Take care.

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