So I had my second visit with a new therapist today. It was not productive. Indeed, it was counter-productive, to the point where I am sitting here considering calling for my money back. But that would mean I would have to explain the following situation to the receptionist…[br][br]I have been having intrusive thoughts of a sexual nature for some time. They involve past actions and I won't elaborate, but suffice it to say, I have been bombarded by some fearful thoughts and delusions for some time. On my first appointment, I (bravely or foolishly) told the counselor about the thoughts and the havoc they were wreaking in my life. I worry all the time, I feel like I've done something wrong. The thoughts haven't left, so I brought them up at this visit again. She says, "just a moment, I need to run out to my car real quick to get a book."[br][br]She returns carrying a large red paperback book and proceeds to tell me that it is about "sex addiction." She explains that she got it because my intrusive thoughts involve sex. She begins by reading the riot act of the symptoms of a sex addict (which I don't fit). I indulge her for this moment, expecting her to proceed to a matter relevant to my case. Right about then was the time she suggested I get a sponsor.[br][br]I told her "Whoa, now. I'm no sex addict. I have intrusive thoughts of a sexual nature and delusions that involve sex and past actions, but I also have thoughts that I hit someone with my car and delusions involving that. The difference is that I can talk about the latter to everybody – the former I have few people I can confide in. That's why it's more of a problem."[br][br]I proceed to tell her that it is not an unusual symptom for people with OCD to have unwelcome thoughts of a violent or sexual nature. She says "like violent pornography?" I said "NO. Like I'm with someone and I have a thought or image of myself hurting this person."[br][br]She then flips around in her book, searching, finally finding another option. This time I have "sexual anorexia," an aversion to sex. Despite it being a complete 180 from her starting point (that I'm a sex addict), many addicts apparently have this trait before or during treatment. Fine. Not me. I told her – "I have OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER. I am having disturbing, distressing thoughts that involve sex. That's OCD, not a sex addiction. We're really moving down the wrong track here."[br][br]Right about then is when she asks the unthinkable. "So, how do you treat your OCD?" I reply, "Well, since you ask, the best way is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Exposure-Response Therapy. Does anyone in this office practice CBT?" Her: "Well, all of us of course have training that covered it. Someone in this office does a version called DBT." I want the appointment to end now. I talk of hoping to find a therapist closer to home, and I schedule an appointment for next week, just in case I don't find somebody new (bad as it is, I need someone to talk to). She gives me two sheets of paper so I can copy down my "sexual history." Useless idiot.[br][br]And I paid $110 out of my deductible for that trash. Now I'm obsessing that I'm a sex addict and a bad person because of it.
AlexPKeaton, , OCD, Addiction, Anxiety, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Eating Disorder, OCD, Psychosis, Sex Therapy, Therapist, Therapy, 2