Ok, so I went on Friday to a GP to get my med situation straightened out.  I saw a doctor that I have never seen before.  His attitude towards mental illness is, let's just say, unenlightened.

First, he starts asking why I'm depressed and I'm talking and mention the stuff about my dad.  He interrupts and starts saying stuff like, "you cannot live in the past you have to look to the future, you can't worry about things that have already happened".  Which is all well and good, but I am not an idiot, I know this, and I already have a therapist to help me figure out how to do this.  Then, I start talking about my job situation. His friendly advice was "don't ever tell an employer about your mental problems because they will think you are weak and will not want to hire you or keep you employed"  I just kinda sat there, not much to say to that, it was pretty clear how he felt about mental illness.  He also said I should never show anyone my scars because it reflected badly on me.   Then he goes on talking about how my generation is "listless" and how the rise of depression in my age group can be attributed to this.  You know the whole "you damn kids get off my lawn" type deal.  He pretty much just talked down to me the whole time.  He wouldn't let me say anything just kept talking over me saying, "I'm trying to help you".   I wanted to be like, "just write the damn prescriptions then and keep your mouth shut, asshole!"

I have no choice but to go back to him if I want my meds straightened out because I lack insurance, otherwise I would have made a big scene and never came back.  I mean, it's not a surprise that someone doesn't get mental illness. What kills me is that this dude couldn't even muster up an ounce of respect or consideration for someone suffering, He just had to his obviously insensitive opinion.  I mean, really? 

Between this and my therapist getting on to me and making me feel like shit for making a decision that she advised me to make in the first place, I'm pretty much infuriated at the whole thing.  But I keep trying to remind myself, that this is not about them and their misguided judgment, fuck them.  This is about me getting better and living a better life.