feel so frustrated with myself right now! havnt had much in the way of mood control today 🙁 so snapped at my dad and my best mate! hate it they have done nothing wrong today but just be there and i go take it out on them! 🙁 im not overly sure what started my mood today but through out the day im just having to fight back tears and anger outbursts! think my boss noticed i wasnt to good today though because when i get anxoius i tend to walk round click my fingers , dont relase im really doing it but others have a lot, so she quickly sent me on an errand which envolved walking to the other building so that was good as i manged to have a lil cry on the way there!

like i siad not sure what set my mood off but the boyfriend really hasnt helped today tho! dont get it he sent me a text earlier asking if im doing anything tonight, thats the first time hes asked taht so i thought this is good hes actully starting to make an effert with me , but when i sent a message back saying yes i am why? he just says was just wondering! what the hell , thats thrown my right off i dont get that and now hes just being quite with me , i dont think that message was ment for me :S iureally dont know just so confused about it , usaly if someone asks if your free they tend to follow with do you wana do something etc… arghh!

oh yeh and ther other thing that was getting me stresssed out is plans changing, i like to plan what i do each day so i got something to occupie myself with so was planning saturday out whihc was all good, then boss asked if i could work a morning shift whcih i agreed to so changed plans so i could get some stuff done tonightso i was ok with that, but then when the boyfriend text and i thoight right so tahts tonight taken up with to so couldnt think how the hell im supose to getanything done etc …

in the end though spoke to my dad and he suggested that i say no to work and then if anything i at least have the morning to do things so thats what ive done! i dont deal with plan changes well 🙁 sorry this is a really long rant just head all over the place and trying to distract myself so i dont do antyhing to stupid at the moment!