Well god damn my life sucks. Everything has been bad in my life i mean damn it one thing goes good than 2 or 3 things go bad. I have no car now cuz my car just dies on me. I have no job cuz no one is hiring and the one place that hired me is too far and i have no car to go there. my boyfriend can't make up his fucking mind about things. Everything was going fine this morning and then his dad called him and he just loses it he gets all depressed and bull shit cuz his dad called him. i tried to comfort him but he over course just pushes me away. He didn't go to work and i told him u can't stop your entire life everytime he calls u. he says that he has some sort of control over him and i told him he has control over you because u let him. then he told me he was gonna go to his cousin's house to drop off something and talk to him.. now let me tell you this all his cousin likes to do is drink. the alst time we went to his house he drank like 6 beers in like a 3 hour period. So i told my b/f don't go over there to drink cuz thenyour gonna be going to alcohol to fix all your problems just like your dad did and then your gonna fuck up your life. He says oh so what if i have 2 beers and i told him i can't be with you if your gonna be drinking cuz i have enough shit in my life to be than having to put up with a b/f that drinks to hide from his fucking problem.I don't know what to do my anxiety is overwhelming me i feel like just breaking up with him because damn he is such a wimp and i'm tired of trying to help him and be there and comfort him when all i get in return when i'm down is nothing and when i try to help he just closes on me.

everything in my life is going to the crapper i spent my days doing nothing i try to look for a fucking job but nothing especially with this damn school schedule cuz it so fucked up only cuz i'm a damn science major. my house is still crappy.We still don't have food at times. i think the only thing that helps me keep sane is my dog lucky he is so cute. i just don't know what to do about all of this fucking problems. fuck i feel like cutting but i gotta get pass the damn anxiety.