Hoping that everyone feels loved and healthy today!

The bird in the picture above is looking for his parents.   I am sitting on the front porch and he keeps hoping up to me making desperate sounds.

Then, he flies up in the tree calling out to his parents and repeat! I hope that his parents are okay!

Yesterday, I was tempted to reach out to the former relationship person to give him my new cell phone number.

Why? I felt guilty for giving up on him and ending it.

Also, for saying no in his attempts to fix things and get me back.

What did I do instead?

I hula hooped, and swam, took a long walk, took a drive, wore pretty dress , window shopped, talked to strangers, took a picture of people wanting their picture taken on their cell phone, made cupcakes 🧁 with sprinkles on top and did my house/ laundry stuff” too.

Here is what I have put together on why I feel like reaching out to the person who opted to treat me poorly most of the time.

1. History will repeat itself, if you don’t learn from it.

I learned from it and opted to not accept being treated in a abusive manner anymore.

2.  Why would I even hope to find “healthy” and peaceful closure from a person who choice to abuse me when I decided to give up on him going back to the good version of him from the beginning?

It is who he is.   It is his character.   He couldn’t continue to be who  he was pretending to be ongoing.   I feel in love with actor of sorts! The real him was the abusive version!

3.  Euphoric Recall is remembering the good more than the toxic parts of a relationship.   It is my brain protecting me from what I can’t fully process right now.   However, it is misleading to my heart!

4.  Did I fail him by giving up on him and not giving him another chance or chances?

I would of failed myself if I hadn’t of accepted him for he is.    He is responsible for his own actions and the consequences.   He may regret losing me.  His consequences.  I am responsible for me! He is responsible for himself and his actions.   My job is to protect me from him!

I do care about his feelings but the way he treated me was not acceptable.  Abuse is a choice.

We are all flaws human beings however he opted to treat me in a unacceptable way.  He broke my trust and my heart.

He is 9 years older then me.  He knew what he was doing with his cruelty and treatment of me!

He had probably done it before and could be doing the same right now to someone.

🌸 Maybe my closure is just simply knowing that I am not being treated that way anymore and my confusion and guilt are confirmation that I am caring and wasn’t in a healthy relationship. 🌸

I hope that everyone has a blissful and content day!

Remember you are loved more than you will ever know and you matter a lot!

I hope that your blessings are many and that you are having success processing your challenges/ options and solutions!

We are all worth the time and effort!

Thank you for listening! I really appreciate it!

Warmly,

Lacey