I seriously doubt what you dream carries no meaning. After last nigh'ts dreams and defining them, I am certain we try and fix our everyday problems with our dreams. For example, there was hugging in my dream. Here is what a website says, "To dream that you are hugging someone symbolizes your loving and caring nature. You are holding someone or something close to your heart. Alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate." True enough. The next part scared me a bit. "To dream that someone is hugging you suggests that you need to let down your guard and allow your true feelings to show. It also means that you need to allow yourself to heal emotionally." Both of those seem to apply to me currently. As for doing those things, there isn't much chance. I have too little faith in myself to even attempt what transpired last week. The leader of the group where I vented was praying with me at one point in the dream. Praying is defined as meaning, "To see or hear someone else pray in your dream indicates that you are looking for some guidance. You are feeling lost." Again very accurate to the point of being…weird. And last was the ever popular "naked" dream. Which the description of that seems accurate too.
All of these symbols that seem accurate, I can't help but think it has to have something to do with my waking life. I woke up and looked back at the dream (s) and felt a sense of longing and need. I've learned–especially with depression–that you rarely get what you need. I'm not talking about the latest phone or anything, I consider that a want. These felt like needs in my dream…I hope I don't keep dreaming this. I woke up feeling…sad and lonely.
Ok on to my feelings of guilt oh boy. I was eating lunch when a guy from the group that I visited last week sat at my table. I immediately put my mask, walls and whatever else up. He had been there when I cried and told the dark truth. He is such a good guy–all of the guys in the group are–I HATE that he's seen me in that pathetic state. He's such a happy, goofy person…I envy him. Everyone likes him. He is the same one who had a birthday a week or so ago and the bible study leader threw him a party. I thought I felt like an outcast then well after last weeks incident, I truly feel like a sinner among angels.