At the moment, this is very simple: You deliver loneliness to my life in an infinite number of ways. When I am with you, I feel introspective and alone because you don't really listen to what I'm saying, and it's really all about you, 90% of the time. When we're simultaneously going thru a miserable/frustrating situation, we are unhappy together for the same reasons- because we only have each other? I'm not sure. And finally, when we have sex, it's usually all about you…. although I'm sure you feel the exact opposite…. but which one of us gets to cum 100% of the time? YOU… so shut the fuck up about it!! You really don't listen to what my body needs, 80% of the time…. because subconsciously, you really don't give a fuck. It's so fucking unfair. And then I feel like an asshole a lot of the time because you are actually a very affectionate person…. I'm just simply not attracted to you… I would say that at least 75% of the time, I am physically and emotionally repulsed by your entire fucking persona and I usually imagine that you're someone else when we fuck…. but what else am I supposed to do? Breaking up is not an option because then I'd have to move back in with my parents so I'm really just fucking trapped with you.
This sucks…. the weather is getting really fucking cold these days and I feel joyless and I have absolutely zero libido…. we had sex 2 nights ago but it was awful for me. I really need passionate, engaging sex….. i need to put some color into my cheeks.
I am so fucking sorry to say this, but you really make me so miserable and you're so controlling…. like, in ways that you can't even fathom because you're so subconsciously fucked up. And look at the kind of person you created…. I'm really emotionally and even physically dependent on you because you are, in comparison, the most positive reinforcement in my life, which is really fucking pathetic and I honestly hate you and myself.