HI ALL i just want to let my friends and potiental new friends know that i am not ignoring anyone i have adrenal tumors yeah cancer i have been in ICU 3 times they say its 4 but the last one i dont recall at all if you send me a comment or a pvt message and i dont answer you sraight away just know that i am home now doing all i can do to be in remission but this cancer is rare cause its on both glands so its in opperable. i have had minor a a few major heart attacks i had to stop all psych meds as they were making me more hormonally toxic then i already am i lost a few good friendships here cause i was off my rocker way off with my big mouth i hurt some that i love still even if they ignore me i dont just shut people out unless there is a good a real good reason they had good reasons

i am not the same person i was before all these icu visits i have had rude awakenings most of us have been abused in some way or another i had to face that i was still being abused verbally and in other ways and then face my abuser head on as it was my father good news pops has not even raised his voice in over 2 months says he is gonna extend this amount of time whats my point you people here have been a sorce of strenght and positive healing for me if anyone needs to talk i am here had trouble sitting up for a while but thanks to the devine/ universe MY HIGHER POWER and being able to come here getting love acceptance encouragement has made a world of difference for me i want to do a blanket appology if i had offended anyone during that rotten time between thanksgiving and st patricks day

i stopped blogging until now when i was assured i would not be rude obnoxious and talking from an over adrenaline space i am harmless now my attitudes and feelings have really changed for the better i have been getting depressed a bit latly but comming here does help me i pray for all of us depression sucks the support of each other is a gift

i have been out of ice for 11 days as of today i feel better past week then i have in months i have an appointment on friday with the endocrinologist i am looking forward to that you know they put me on heart meds and ironiclly one of them blocks the over production of adrenaline so i got a 2fer

i think that if we say one nice thing about each other every day this world would be a better place i am not complaining here just being real please dont stop sending those graphics and comments if i dont get right back to you my energy is not great yet so please be patient with me when i wake up early am as i have today it means so much to wake up come here and have comments graphics and warm words sent to me by my selve i cannot deal with all this with all of you and my higher power i can deal with it and be strong cancer does not have to own me its not easy to not get depressed but i sware comming here does keep my depression at bay so thats that hope you all have a decent day today we are winning all of us here so no malice genuine thanks i will reply when i am able to sit up for more then a bit of time i pray for us all surround us in the pink light of love take care all i am here for you always ciao for now