This is my first time joing a blog but really it is my first time willing to open up about myself.

First off I guess I will explain who I am and how I got to where I am.

I have been told by multiple doctors that I have 5 mental disorders/illnesses and now I am scared every time my family wants to me start again. I always go to the doctor, get scared, and leave.

Well here in about a month I am trying again and it has my anxiety all out of wack because I am so nervous I am either going to be told I have something else or what I have is going to have to be treated another way.

I use to be so closed up about my conditions and hide and I mean hide from everything. I have cut off my friends, family…basically everything. Sitting at home day in and out does not help my situation any but who do I turn to when your alone?

This is where I get to the title of my blog: Have you ever?

So have you ever felt scared going to the doctors?

Have you ever felt discouraged after leaving the doctor?

For a background of me, this includes that I can have up to 6-10 anxiety attacks a day, I cry almost every night, I get bullied, picked on, made fun of on a daily basis, and my attention span equals a fly.

Now I have been dealing with these issues all my life but about two years ago I decided to try to get help and see what is really going on with me.

So finally,

Have you ever felt so abdanded or attacked to the point where you just want throw up your hands?