So, I have known for a long time that I have OCD. It wasn't until last night when I watched True Life about 3 people with OCD, that I realized it is a lot worse than what I had originally thought. So I am going to explain what I go through on a daily basis and I would like to know more about everyone else as well!

When I am walking I always start out with my left foot and I count to 3 (left 1, right 2, left 3) make sense?

Everything has to be even. Examples: the volume in the car, the number on the a/c unit, the number of pens and pencils in the caddy, etc. If i touch something with my right leg, I have to go back and touch it in the same spot on my left leg. (that goes for every part of my body) or If I am on tile and there is a mat on the floor and i step on it with my left foot i have to step on it with my right or it will not feel right

Everything starts off on the left side. The money in my drawer at work faces the left. when putting lotion bottles in order they start off with the biggest or tallest one on the left and go in descending order.

I alphabetize everything. My DVD's are all in order as are my CD's, lotions, and perfumes. My tank tops are arranged in color order… black, blue, gray, green…etc. My shoes/sandals are the same way.

My closet. Oh boy. Pink shirts get hung on pink hangers. Blue shirts on blue. Green on green and so forth. If i have a gray shirt or another color that i dont have the same in the hangers…they go on white. White is neutral.

My bowls, plates and cups are arranged in size order…smallest to biggest (smallest on top, biggest on bottom) and in color order.

Odd numbers give me a great deal of anxiety. I hate them. But what is weird is the odd number I can deal with is 3 and that is when i walk. Weird I know.

I have unwanted sexual thoughts. I think about "wonder if i was gay" and then i get so mad and grossed out that i even thought about it that i have panic attacks.

I have to "cancel out" bad thoughts with bad thoughts. Like I am constantly worried something is going to happen to my little sister or my mom. I have visions of them getting in a car wreck. Getting shot. Getting stabbed. Whoo writing all of this stuff is giving me a great deal of anxiety and im on the verge of an attack. When I think of these things, I hurry up and switch those thoughts to the last time we were together.

I have a fear of going crazy. I picture myself in jail with the orange suit on, handcuffed and shackled and i dont know what I have done.

I think maybe if I do all of the organizing and such that maybe it will get rid of the thoughts but it doesn't. None of it will go away.

whew anyways….will write more later….getting a headache