It has been a great spring break. I have gotten so much accomplished with almost no anxiety! First, I took care of all my midterm grades and preperation for the new class that starts this Sunday. I repainted my nephews room and redecorated. Ran all kinds of errands that have been nagging at me for a long time, too. It was also my husband's and my birthday. Thanks for all the nice birthday wishes : )
Next week is going to be a big change, like I said a new class is starting. It meets one Sunday for two hours to introduce students to the course and for 8 Saturdays from 8:30-noon. I will also be subbing for a professor who is out on maternity leave two days a week. All that in addition to my two classes will keep me busy!
I am trying to keep a positive outlook! Usually after breaks or vacations I get a lot of anxiety a few days before starting back. Today is the first day that I feel it. I keep telling myself that I am a strong, capable, professional woman and that nothingis going to happen that I cannot deal with. Easy to say! I keep double checking my schedules and rereading the work that I already have planned. Check, check, check, plan, plan, plan.
I had a really good talk with my psychologist about work anxiety and he made a profound analogy. He said that my attitude towards my career, my work ethic, was excellent and he likened it to a chess board. The chess board in a chess game is always stable, it isn't effected by what the pieces do. The "things that could go wrong," the things that I obsessively think about, and overplan for and feel the need to control, are the chess pieces. He said I need to focus less on the moves that the pieces could make because this overfocusing is causing anxiety. He said to have faith in the board. The board is always ok no matter what moves the pieces make.
I've been contemplating this analogy a lot. Perhaps we have a "chess board" for each are of our lives- a work board, a family board, a marriage board, a "me" board, etc. personally, my family and marriage board are ok at the moment. The work board is getting lost in the chess moves and the "me" board isn't even self aware yet. LOL
I am making a point to think about the me board. Figure out what my values for ME are… figure out how I can become the board and not the plays of the pieces. I encourage all of you to do the same. Look at where your anxiety is coming from, figure out which board it is effecting, and thinkof ways to take care of that board or make conscious choices based on the values of that board.