Hello,

I am feeling so hurt and angry at the sitation I am in with my husband. About a month ago he finally told me that he was unhappy and unsure of his feelings for me. That it started when my depression did and he didn't want to share this as he thought it might make my depression worse. SUch a cop out! He is responsible for his emotional health and honesty and integrity are a part of that. This pattern he has had his entire life but this situation highlighted that.

So, we are supposed to talk once a month and I suppose we could talk more if we desired. Tonight I was riding through the lights in the part with my kids and my oldest Forest who is 4 said that last year Daddie, him and calvin and her rode through the park. I was shocked and dismayed. I asked him again and again and he wouldn't give any details, it wasn't until I got home that I asked him if hemade it up and he said yes.

Well, I called my husband immediately and asked him, he says no. But since my emotions were high I then began interrogating him, as I often do when I am losing control. I realize that I need to turn the focus off him and to take care of myself now.

The phones service cut us off and he warned me it would, but I left a message for him to call me.

I don't even know what to say anymore or how right now. My emotions are high and I was alone with the kids all day feeling alone and scared as I don't want to become a single mom.

I asked him during the call if anything had changed and he said no, he still doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not. Yet he also said he did feel some hope…but we lost the call.

I feel obessed in some way, like I need to call him again.

Help

3 Comments
  1. rainbowdash724 9 years ago

    I may only be 16 but my aunt is going through the same thing. Her and my uncle have been married 15 years. My aunt has two daughters and she just had a misscarriage. My aunt has become depressed and my uncle is considdering leaving her. Im sorry if this advice sucks. But my thoughts and prayers will be with you during your difficult time.

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  2. HoneyBunny 9 years ago

    It's perfectly normal to have fears regarding the possible end of your marriage, but you still have your children.  If your husband is NOT being supportive and understanding, ask yourself if this is someone who deserves you.  Marriage is about good times and bad, sickness, and health.  Hopefully, you'll remain strong for the sake of your children regardless how things turn out.

     

    Honey

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  3. mesagirl 9 years ago

    I'm sorry to hear that your husband is looking at giving up.  Depression is a hard thing for the depressed but also a hard thing for significant others and spouses.  I've only been with my husband 3 years and I can see that my "moods" wear on him.  The trouble is, when it hits me, I feel like I  can't control it, or the crazy person that I turn into.  So I just try to hide it and not talk about  it, but I know that's not the way to make this marriage work. I  feel I need to find a way to communicate with him better as to what I'm going through. But it's so hard. I feel ashamed, stupid, incapable and weak. We made a pact though, that if either of us  feel  like leaving, we will seek counseling. Do you think your husband would be willing to try this. It might help to have a nuetral 3rd party help you both communicate what you're afraid to say to each other, thereby reaching a deeper level of understanding?  And it might help him get a better understaning of what you're trying to cope with. It has to be worth a shot…

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