so i see my therapist every thursday an well she seemed ok till today. I told her that one of my fears is that my x will take my son away from me. Im not saying he can cause i am not a bad mother and well he just got arrested but i have had this fear for so long. So she was reassuring me that it cant happen blah blah. Then she says do you have full custody thru the court and i dont cause we have always have had a mutual agreement. and yes i no i should have legal custody and i am not going to get it. but she tells me that he can take my son out of state and never come back. Ok so now i am horrified. and panicing i called the state lawyer here for appt cause im all nervous now they dont have appt till summer he said not to worry though rarely happens … well its in my head now so i am going to freak about it forever. May seem silly but the thought is horrifing. i am trying to think this through rationally but well i have though rationally in forever. now i dont want my son to leave my side AHHHHHH why me

my other issue that i am gaining so much weight that i am making myself so upset and sick. I know i am gaining weight and can do something about it but i dont but yet i get upset when i see myself i swear i have a malfunction everyone says walk but its like 10 below out and even though im fat i might freeze my ass off. i think i might put fat pics of me all over my room so i actually do something not sure.


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