Hi, I am a 42 yr. old woman whom is going thru sobriety for the very first time in my life. I smoked marijuana for over 20 years of my life and was on valium for the last 4 years. I one day just woke up and something hit me and I realized I no longer wanted to be controlled by drugs. I put myself into detox on March 24, and have been sober since. I joined a guidance center which I attend on Monday and Thursday evenings with all woman for group support. I also go there on Wednesday evenings for one on one counceling. I have been dealing with big time anxiety since I stopped doing the drugs. I feel myself build up with anger for no specific reason(at least not one I can pick out), and I feel the base of my skull,and the top of my spine grow a non stop pounding. I do not seem to be happy over anything. I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful children, a gorgeous home, so what is my problem??? I clean houses for a living, and am very busy. I do not seem to be able to figure out anything that I want to do just for me! I am not fighting the fight of wanting to go back to drugs, I am fighting the fight of getting to know and love me. I don't seem to be able to figure out what I am here for besides being a wife, mother, caregiver, housecleaner…WHAT ABOUT ME????????????? How does one go about loving themselves?
Please send me feedback and let me know if anyone can relate to my story. I am willing to receive any advise you are willing to offer.
Thank you all in advance for reading this blog. I needed to get it out!!